"We are all wounded people. Who wounds us? Often those whom we love and those who love us. When we feel rejected, abandoned, abused, manipulated, or violated, it is mostly by people very close to us: our parents, our friends, our spouses, our lovers, our children, our neighbors, our teachers, our pastors. Those who love us wound us too. That's the tragedy of our lives. This is what makes forgiveness from the heart so difficult. It is precisely our hearts that are wounded. We cry out, "You, who I expected to be there for me, you have abandoned me. How can I ever forgive you for that?"
Forgiveness often seems impossible, but nothing is impossible for God. The God who lives within us will give us the grace to go beyond our wounded selves and say, "In the Name of God you are forgiven." Let's pray for that grace."
This reminder was in my email inbox this morning. It's often a first response to think about the ways in which I have been hurt by others. The truth is that even as a pastor, or maybe especially as a pastor, I have hurt others by things said or unsaid. Done or undone.
This is one of those things that does occasionally keep me up at night.
The solution is still valid. Whether one is hurt deliberately or by mistake, forgiveness is the key. And as Nouwen reminds us, forgiveness sets us free, much more than it sets the other person free. That's just how it works.
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