Wednesday, August 27, 2003

I'm back


Lord, your mercy fills the heavens, your faithfulness rises to the sky.
Your justice is like the mountains of God, your judgement are like the deeps of the sea. Lord, you protect both men and beasts.

How precious is your kindness, O God! The sons of men will take shelter under your wings;
they will eat their fill from the riches of your house, drink all they want from the stream of your joy.
For with you is the spring of life-giving water, in your light we see true light.

Hold out your mercy to those who know you, offer your justice to the upright in heart.
Let me not be crushed under the heels of the proud, nor dispossessed by the hands of sinners.
The doers of evil have fallen where they stood, they are cast down and cannot rise.


It's interesting how I'm dealing with going back to the office today, I couldn't sleep last night.


I'm nervous, like I'm starting over. I'm so aware of my inadequacies, my inability to do anything of lasting value. I'm aware of my ability to get in God's way and take anything of fruitfulness and call it mine.


I'm aware of huge expectations on me, mostly they're my expectations. Expectations to see fruitfulness, to see people change, to see God work in our midst. I've become aware of the deadness of that weight on me and in my more lucid moments, it's not a problem. When I'm not clear, well, I tend to carry as much as possible.


But I also carry a burden to pray. I wish and hope and pray for that couple who is without a job right now. I think about that kid who's playing with drugs they shouldn't touch because it's going to sidetrack them, maybe for the rest of their lives. I wonder how the widow is doing, without her lifemate beside her.


These are the things I carry in my spirit, night and day. Hoping, praying, watching for a chance to help, to encourage, to counsel, to point to God.


And so I will call on the One who alone is able to strengthen me, and carry the weight of my life.



How precious is your kindness, O God! The sons of men will take shelter under your wings;
they will eat their fill from the riches of your house, drink all they want from the stream of your joy.
For with you is the spring of life-giving water, in your light we see true light.



3 comments:

  1. Welcome back. From the sort of postings your people have put up, you may feel inadequate (a good thing?) but you're certainly well loved.

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  2. "I'm so aware of my inadequacies, my inability to do anything of lasting value. I'm aware of my ability to get in God's way and take anything of fruitfulness and call it mine."





    This is one of the great struggles of a Christian life - as I've discovered recently. The trick is to remember that God uses inadequate and sometimes downright foolish people to do his most amazing work. It's hard for us to comprehend, but that's ok. We don't need to comprehend, we just need to let the LORD do His work.



    I think you'll do just fine, Randall. Not because your SuperPastor or anything, but because you are a fellow son in the Kingdom. Our Father is in control, and His victory is assured.

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  3. Thanks for the psalms. I've read them several times over the day and they keep me focused on the important issues of life.....not always on what's happening in "office life"....we know how that can be!! Glad you're back......

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