I believe I have seen (uh - heard) of children doing such things and then looking over at the "Old Fart" as if he is to blame. So watch out - they grow up!
My mom and I got on an elevator years ago just as someone else got off. THEY had definitely let a few go! The elevator stopped on the next floor and an executive-type woman with a briefcase got on. We burst out laughing and she gave us the dirtiest look. How can you explain at that point that you weren't the culprit and the other person had gotten off! Might as well just accept the blame!
In grade 12 I had to write a history final. The room was absolutely silent as 28 students worked furiously to complete their single essay test. About half way through the given time the silence was broken by a tremendous fart from the back corner of the room. It was obvious who the culprit was but no one had any time to respond, not even chuckle because of the tight schedule we were on. About 30 seconds later the offender put down his pen and asked in quite a loud voice, "What? Did no one hear that or are you all just being polite?" We erupted into laughter. At least some people take responsibility for their actions.
This is probably too much information - so let's do it anyway!
I have an affection for those sour sweets. Saturday we were painting the stair well and landing of pour house, and I 'comfort ate' about half a packet. By the evening I was aware that there was a growing sense of unhappiness below. Coupled to that was an awareness that trying to deflate a little, except in the smallest room, was really not a good plan. This continuesd through to Sunday - great time of worship in the afternoon, guitar being played by a 'blimp'.
Everything is now happy again, and my colon has rescinded it's attempts at UDI.
Oh, one funny storey.
We had some good friends with children around the same age as ours. On one occasion they shared a bath together. Ben being Ben broke wind, and popped his head up, declaring "only wind" with a big grin. The friends were astonished and amused - their boys would have shouted "FART". In the UK 'fart' is considered coarse, approaching swearing.
I come from a very "British" home also. The "F" word was never spoken nor was it "heard" in our home EVER. The term was "breaking wind" ONLY. So, as we raised our children, that "F" word again was never spoken but changed to "fluff"... a neighbor's rendition. Now, having acquired a husband who is free to express himself from either end, he has encouraged us, as a family, to be more free to let air escape in whatever fashion - but as my upbringing dictates, one must try to be somewhat discrete according to "Robert's Rules of Air Letting". I digress..........Happy Farting.....
I believe I have seen (uh - heard) of children doing such things and then looking over at the "Old Fart" as if he is to blame. So watch out - they grow up!
ReplyDeleteMy mom and I got on an elevator years ago just as someone else got off. THEY had definitely let a few go! The elevator stopped on the next floor and an executive-type woman with a briefcase got on. We burst out laughing and she gave us the dirtiest look. How can you explain at that point that you weren't the culprit and the other person had gotten off! Might as well just accept the blame!
ReplyDeleteYou are your mothers son.....at least you didn't pee in there......
ReplyDeleteHey, I said I DIDN'T!!!!
ReplyDeleteI was standing beside a elderly person in the library and he "ripped"
ReplyDeleteand just kept looking at the material...me, I
looked up and encountered many eyes on me....you cannot shout that you did not do it...HE DID!!!
I left the area before the "evidence" was nose worthy.
As long as we're telling stories...
ReplyDeleteIn grade 12 I had to write a history final. The room was absolutely silent as 28 students worked furiously to complete their single essay test. About half way through the given time the silence was broken by a tremendous fart from the back corner of the room. It was obvious who the culprit was but no one had any time to respond, not even chuckle because of the tight schedule we were on. About 30 seconds later the offender put down his pen and asked in quite a loud voice, "What? Did no one hear that or are you all just being polite?" We erupted into laughter. At least some people take responsibility for their actions.
This is probably too much information - so let's do it anyway!
ReplyDeleteI have an affection for those sour sweets. Saturday we were painting the stair well and landing of pour house, and I 'comfort ate' about half a packet. By the evening I was aware that there was a growing sense of unhappiness below. Coupled to that was an awareness that trying to deflate a little, except in the smallest room, was really not a good plan. This continuesd through to Sunday - great time of worship in the afternoon, guitar being played by a 'blimp'.
Everything is now happy again, and my colon has rescinded it's attempts at UDI.
Oh, one funny storey.
We had some good friends with children around the same age as ours. On one occasion they shared a bath together. Ben being Ben broke wind, and popped his head up, declaring "only wind" with a big grin. The friends were astonished and amused - their boys would have shouted "FART". In the UK 'fart' is considered coarse, approaching swearing.
On re-reading, it looks like sour sweets don't do ones' spelling any favours either
ReplyDeleteI come from a very "British" home also. The "F" word was never spoken nor was it "heard" in our home EVER. The term was "breaking wind" ONLY. So, as we raised our children, that "F" word again was never spoken but changed to "fluff"... a neighbor's rendition. Now, having acquired a husband who is free to express himself from either end, he has encouraged us, as a family, to be more free to let air escape in whatever fashion - but as my upbringing dictates, one must try to be somewhat discrete according to "Robert's Rules of Air Letting". I digress..........Happy Farting.....
ReplyDelete3 letters
ReplyDeleteI must read before I click.
I must read before I click.
These days I prefer the atronomical term 'outgassing', although gusting is also quite good (and only 2 letters short of the truth ;-)
ReplyDelete