This morning during our early (6:30) prayer time at the church, I was being still, waiting on Him. I was reading through Isaiah 53, and my eyes fell on verse 10. I stopped and reread it;
"Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him with pain."
An amazing reminder to me that pain isn't always the enemy, and that if I spend my days fighting the pain, I may be fighting God. Wow.
It was Gods will, not even just to hurt him a little, but to crush him, dead.
So, is God in my pain? Have I even looked for Him there, or do I instantly assume it isn't his work, fighting it tooth and nail.
And pain isn't only physical. What of the pain of separation, the pain of loss? What about the pain of unanswered prayer?
If I look for God in the pain, I might see nothing but sorrow. Or, I may find some answers to life's questions. I may find direction and purpose and provision. I might see love and mercy, or so many other gifts of life, yes, in the pain.
I need to let this soak in a bit more.
it's easy to be glib about pain (you weren't). it's easy to talk about pain in idealistic terms when the extent of pain is what others would consider a minor inconvenience. it is another thing altogether to be swamped by pain, near suicidal, and to learn to appreciate its growth potential. there are many lessons to be learned through pain but oft times, in our darker moments, we hate to admit to ourselves that these amazing lessons, these transformational teachings... just weren't worth it.
ReplyDeleteIn a firm grasp of the bleedin obvious, i would say that the easiest time to talk about pain is when you aren't in it.
ReplyDeleteAnd your comment rings true.
I took time today to think about the times of my life that have known deep blackness and pain. I do understand why some people take their own lives-I've looked over that edge too.
I suppose that's why the act of God crushing Jesus dead, is just so profound for me. God=Love, not blackness, not despair, not pain. Is he in the pain at all? And if he is, then where is he in it.
No, the pain hasn't always been worth it. Sometimes yes, but not all the time. And that's just my perspective from this side. It may change later on, I don't know.
And I know that looking for God during the pain isn't a solution to the pain, it's more of a dim light that shines in the distance of the darkness.
Ahem, yeah, deep thots...
Dude you also ought to know that I've called out your name to God in the past! Keep livin large in Mission. (They need ya)