Saturday, July 15, 2006

Sitting in my corner chair, listening...

Tonight I"m sitting in my corner chair listening to some Steve Bell, reflecting on the week and the day. I am so grateful for the space this week, it gives me a sense or hope that I might actually make it through the summer. This is huge. Last week I wasn"t really sure I would even make it through the month.

Today when I got up it just felt flu-ish, so I spent the morning popping pills. Then around 1:00 Lauralea sent me to bed and I went. I slept till 2:30, got up for some more meds, and went back to bed till 6. Wow I crashed hard. And I"m about ready for bed again.

In other news, having two kids in the process of leaving and breaking away sure is hard. It seems the final break for some of them has to be so harsh and jagged. It hurts so much more when it"s like that, but different people are at different places in their maturity and experience. And you do your best to make the process as hopeful and as painless as possible. Still they are not experienced in this leaving either. Some days my only hope is that one day they will look back and see the difficulties their flailing about caused those closest to them. I hope.


Enough for one day.
I"ll leave you with The Blessing, in the words of Steve Bell.


”?cause in my heart there"s a sadness building up
Every turn adds to the cup
As the losses match the measure of my gains
In the shadow of this curse
Where the best implies the worst
If you"re like me you"ll need to hear somebody pray...

May the Lord bless and keep you
May His face shine upon you
May His graciousness be like an endless stream
May the Lord show His favour
To your house and your neighbor
Until last remaining strains of striving cease
May He grant you peace

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