l o v e

Tuesday, October 09, 2007
I had a meeting a couple of weeks ago at the University of Saskatchewan with a friend. We were chatting over coffee talking about life and it's complexities.

He's not a person who's had a particularly easy go of it in life. In fact he and most of his friends would say that he's become quite a complex individual indeed.

Lately he's been smitten by a young lass and they've been together for 8 or 9 months. As a result, he is changing.

He worries less, he's less anxious, doesn't sweat the small stuff and most of it these days is small stuff. He enjoys life and, well, it's all so much better.

We talked briefly about this change in him and after thinking a bit he responded with, "Turns out I'm not that complex after all, I'm just a boy who needed to be loved."


I suspect there are a great many people in this world who are less complex than they seem.

They're just boys and girls who need to be loved.


  1. Brilliant. What a wonderful conversation, what a wonderful post, I hope the coffee was good too.

  2. There but for the grace of God etc.

    Yup, quite true.

    Being in love seems to even cure 'beer and curry breath' the following morning too.

  3. Love seems to be over-rated....

  4. Real love cannot be overrated. Infatuation and romance may be, but not the kind of love that helps you discover who you really are.

  5. Does that kind of love even exist? It doesn't in my world.

  6. Thanks Randall. I hope this friend of your doesn't mind, but I borrowed his comment for my facebook status as it sort of sums up how things have been going! If he does let me know and I'll change it.

  7. Go for it Tara.

    Actually it's a status we could all use.

    Because it changes us.

  8. Anon - there are times it may feel that way. A big part of 'knowing real love' comes from what we do with it when it's offered, as well as having it offered to us.

    Real love also happens outside partnerships, but we tend to limit it to that context because of expectations, wishes and inhibitions.

  9. Toni- I believe that part of my problem is that I myself don't know how to share that kind of love. There are those in my life who definitely don't get the kind of love from me that maybe they deserve but it's just not in me to give that to them. Although, maybe it's been there in the past. I once heard the phrase, "the more you love, the more you hurt." Well, I'm definitely hurting....

  10. I think there are seasons in life in which we get slapped around, emotionally if not physically, and our experience of love takes a beating.

    Maybe it's like if we break an arm or leg, we can't use it for a while. But we need to start exercising it one day or it will become permanently broken.

    Love too, if it's broken and we leave it in a dark corner, will become dead to us. We need to start exercising that thing again.

    Sometimes we need a "Professional" like a caring friend or counsellor whom we can talk with to help set the thing right. So we can see the thing healed to love again.

    I better stop before the analogy completely breaks down and I start talking about a Love Doctor.

  11. You have no idea how many people have told me that maybe I should go see a "professional"......

  12. Anon - by 'professional' I suspect Randall doesn't mean a shrink, but instead someone of wisdom that can walk with you through stuff while helping you to understand what is happening. That's why he said caring friend as well as counsellor.

    Sharing love isn't always easy, but I'd definitely disagree with "the more you love the more you hurt" as being a usual outcome. Love should bring more peace than pain, although it *can* be painful if the party to whom the love is directed mis-uses it or rejects it.

  13. How well does Toni know me!!


    Yup, talk to someone who is willing to listen and not let you get lost there.

  14. I understand the importance of having trusted friends who are able to acquire glimpses into the deeper recesses of a persons heart. I myself have a friend or two whom I've allowed to get a glimpse into mine. The problem for me is that even they have suggested that I see someone more "professional." That's what I struggle with. It's not something I am able to do.

  15. Are you local to Randall or me?

  16. I'm in the UK (Oxfordshire) - I'd kind of assumed you'd click the link from my name to my blog, but that's dumb of me.


  17. Actually, I did link to it, but I wasn't 100% clear on if you were from there or elsewhere. Thanks for clarifying though. You're not dumb!


  18. Toni- If you email me at the following address, I'll answer your previous question..



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