And it's really a comfort that I don't need to be a superhero or supershepherd, because that's what He is.
But it is a struggle with calling. Called and shaped to be a shepherd, I feel best when I am free and able to shepherd, to care, to love. But the successfulness of a shepherd, if there is such a thing, means that there are many more to shepherd. And when I try to shepherd many, I can't shepherd well for all. Then this calling becomes less than. Less than helpful, less than gracious, less than energizing.
So another week had progressed by and I have tried to help and shepherd as many as I could, as many as I had time to shepherd. I just have many and much to care for, and less and less time to do it. It sometimes feels like I'm working on a steep slope, moving things up hill.
So I am torn by the work and the opportunities to shepherd.
There are always open doors into peoples homes, which I am grateful for. But the energy to keep at it is used in different ways that are needed to keep things going here. And to be fair, those different ways can also involve different ways to shepherd too. So I am still learning.
I just think I may be a better shepherd than a rancher.