Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Who am I

Identity is something that is sort of imprinted in us by our DNA but we are also shaped by our surroundings. My DNA testing kit tells me one thing, but my mom, siblings, friends, spouse, and children have another part of the story to tell.

Boy that seemed to go deep kinda fast there, for Pete's sake, (apologies to Pete.) 

I am doing some internal processing of my identity, checking my present understanding of myself with my previous understanding. What to change, what to keep. Or better yet, what I like and what I may be wise to toss out, if I can toss.

Actually the point of this post was that I downloaded the Snapchat app. (See what I mean about going deep quickly?)


I downloaded the app for some of the fun with the filters and yeah, I had fun.

This one was called the Hipster Look Lens. 

Umm yeah, or I look like that guy from The Oak Ridge Boys. Either way, it's a stretch for me. If Covid has taught me anything its that I like my hair short.





This one is more of a sixties rock band manager look.


I appreciate what its trying to say, yeah baby, and my hair is grey enough. But it's the problem I always have wearing shades.  I already wear glasses and how cool do those people look who wear sunglasses over their prescription glasses?

Yeah, you know it.















So then I though what about clearing the land up there on top?



It's kind of what my brother, my younger brother I hasten to add, has to do. And it's kind of where my friend Toni is headed, at least it seems. So it's a look some of my best friends and family are sporting.

But alas I have been blessed with locks of hair. I expect I'll be ok with the receding hairline, and it will speed up my morning ablutions considerably, but why rush it.











So I land here. An older version of myself.



A few more pronounced wrinkles, probably more ear hair. Certainly whiter, which my barber Moe tells me we are moving quickly towards these days.


Mom says I look like my great grandfather, which I'm ok with certainly. He was a good looking fellow and in the photos I have from the sixties he's wearing a narrow tie, the style back then. (Yay grandpa)









I do kinda like this version of myself.  
Now, I understand that this is all on the outside, but if I can just keep the inside gentle and at some sense of peace, if I can not get bitter and angry in there, if I can age well in my spirit, I stand a chance of pulling this look off.

Or failing that, I can fight aging and go with the darker, hipster look.



6 comments:

  1. "And it's kind of where my friend Toni is headed, at least it seems."

    He may be there already. :-p

    The 'Guy Fawkes' look is pretty cool, though if you can manage to keep from being hung, drawn and quartered then life will go on a lot more sweetly. As for pimp-daddy, never saw you THAT way before!

    My grandfather had enormous baggage that he never shook off or probably even realised he carried. I've had lots of conversations with my mother over the last few years, and there's definitely a side of him that lurks within. He was bitter, disappointed, frustrated from the actions of his family and the actions of his churches, and as age slowly ground away his personality he was increasingly unable to control his distrust and fears. Seeing this has made me make choices about how I deal with stuff towards others and the way I try not to retain resentment.

    I hope we can all age well, regardless of degree of hirsutism. :D

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    1. The building & subsequent disassembly can be a little un-nerving. I stopped riding bicycles a while back, recognising that there was no longer the strength or skills required to do it well, and I couldn't live with doing it badly. Playing guitar is heading in the same direction: slide guitar is much kinder to joints, and a slower pace much more musically acceptible. Not sure how long the running will be possible, but it's good for the lungs and waisteline, if not the nerves and joints.

      There's a lot of planning going on subconsciously: if I don't do X now then it won't happen ever - can I live with that? Will we have enough money in retirement? Where will we move to after we retire? Some of the time It's OK and some of the time it's not.

      Choices - at least we don't live in a Christian generation where everyone was guilted or frightened into doing the right thing, with a super-strict moral code hiding a fairly substantial dose of hypocrisy and where bullying weaker individuals into doing stuff is generally frowned upon instead of a normal way of working. At least, sometimes anyway. ;-)

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    2. Oh man, when you say, "There's a lot of planning going on subconsciously" you're reading my mail. That is exactly where I find myself living and it often isn't a great thing. It's like I try to trick myself into just keeping on, ignoring the warning signs of age and decisions.

      I just hate the idea that this might be the last computer I buy for work, or that I may never be able to own an electric car.

      Crazy, I know.

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    3. Sorry Toni, I accidentally deleted the content of this comment of mine. It HAD said:
      :) I had to look up hirsutism. hir·sut·ism | noun Medicine abnormal growth of hair on a person's face and body, especially on a woman. Well... there's something I didn't know. Aging is such a tricky thing. And it's hard and tough work. Right now I am discovering how the first half or so of my life has been spent in building. A career, a family, a marriage, a future. But now it's shifting from moving up to moving down. Building is changing to closings etc. Its such a shift, for me anyway. I affirm your good aging choices Toni, just as I affirm your hairstyle. Hold the faith.

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  3. :) I had to look up hirsutism. hir·sut·ism | noun Medicine
    abnormal growth of hair on a person's face and body, especially on a woman.
    Well... there's something I didn't know.

    Aging is such a tricky thing. And it's hard and tough work. Right now I am discovering how the first half or so of my life has been spent in building. A career, a family, a marriage, a future. But now it's shifting from moving up to moving down. Building is changing to closings etc. Its such a shift, for me anyway.

    I affirm your good aging choices Toni, just as I affirm your hairstyle.
    Hold the faith.

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