Wednesday, April 06, 2022

Growing up

More and more rare on the prairies
The town where my grandparents lived.

These days have made me reflect a good deal on my roots and how my relatives faced challenges in life. I think I am looking for ways to age well.

Certainly my experience as a child seeing them in life, were with the eyes of a child. I was blissfully unaware of more adult experiences of truth in their lives. So I don't have that, mostly for the good I believe. Still it leaves me grasping for how to age well. 

I had a realization a while back that one of the persons in the bible I could identify with deeply was the young man Timothy. He seemed about my age and experience level. He seemed to have some insecurities that I could identify with, which was also a comfort to me in ministry. And so as I moved into this life, he was my hero, my good example.

Lately I realized that I have still considered him in that same place where he's been all my life. As my example and hero as a young man pastor. 

Then something happened to me, someone identified me as a Paul in their life, and really that just sort of stunned me. It caused me to realize that I'm not that young man pastor any longer. I'm not still back there with the insecurities and fears of a young pastor failing at the work.  

Here I am still identifying as a Timothy when I should or could identify more as a Paul. It might seem like a nothing deal to you, but for me it has been so completely a shift in my thoughts. It's a better fit, as Paul has faced so many of the things I have faced. And his example and words have more and more been a good help to me.

So at least I am growing but dang how long did that take? How long was my self perception off a bit? I wonder if there are other areas I need to "Grow up" in.

But as I say, at least I'm growing up.

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