Some jobs are just made for two people

Monday, January 15, 2007
In my defense, it had been a long day when I got into the shower last night, and stood warming myself beneath the steaming water.

As I began my ritualistic washing, I looked over and saw hair growing on my shoulders.

Hair. On my shoulders.

It seems to be some warped right of passage that as one grows older, hair begins to appear in places usually reserved for smooth skin. My mind goes instantly to that older man I was chatting with some time ago who seemed to have a great deal of hair growing inside his head as it was leaking out his ears and nose in an escaping, “I"ve got to get out of here,”? way.

Yet, there it was, just sitting there on top of my shoulders.

Mind you, it wasn"t a great forest of hair, like my Greek friend who ran a restaurant and had to shave his face to be able to cook there properly. When he wore a shirt with the buttons opened to his chest you could see where his hairline was. You know, the place at the bottom of his neck where he stopped shaving his face cause it turned into his chest, and that"s where his hairline started. It wasn"t hairy like that on my shoulders.

So I looked in the mirror and saw the beginnings of a hair thing going on on my back too. I"d never noticed this before, mainly because I never get a good look back there. But there it was, a fertile field of hair growth.

I continued washing, thinking what could be done with such a problem.

It was right about then that I saw my razor there in the corner, and I had an idea. I could just take off a bit of the crop from the top of my shoulders, no problem.

So I got some soap lathered up, and went to town. First this side, then that side. Then I wanted to even it up so I went back to this side, and back and forth I went.

The hair came off nicely, but my shaving strokes seemed to reach deeper onto my back, so that I could at least be even with my hair line.

This continued on until I was reaching as far down my back as possible with my right hand over my left shoulder and my left hand over my right shoulder. I couldn"t seem to reach beyond that, but the problem seemed to be taken care of. I could see no more hair on my shoulders or even when I looked down my back, on either side.

“Problem solved,”? I thought. So I shut off the water and dried off a bit.

No more looking at hair on my shoulders and nothing but smooth skin baby.

Then I turned around and caught a look at my back in the big mirror.

And, yeah, like I said, in my defense it had been a long day.

On my back there was a nicely shaped arrow of hair, pointing to my head.

Really smooth where I had been able to reach, but yeah, nice hair arrow.

Sigh. Good thing it's -27C out there and I won"t be going swimming anytime soon.


  1. Steve once shaved a "v" in his chest to see what it would look like.

  2. An arrow pointing at your head is much better than Austin Powers' unfortunate chest hair configuration. :)

  3. Just about killed myself laughing!

    Your body is growing hair in silent retribution for the loss of the facial hair?

  4. My sister's friend shaved his chest hair in the shape of a heart once when he was 17. Yea. Never really did think he was really swift.

    So if this is a job for two the question is "are you going to request help from the wife next time?"

  5. This is just way too funny. Actually, I would certainly keep the "arrow" look though for summer time, that way people will have directions to look at hair on your head - and not your back.....if you get my picture.

    Oh man, I'm still laughing........

  6. You know it grows back thicker once you start shaving??

  7. Body hair is a good, normal and healthy thing for a man to have. Smooth skin is for women (and very nice there it is too) and children, and not for adult males.

    Enjoy it - you'll probably be all the warmer for a little extra insulation too.


  8. No worries Randall, I've had hairy shoulders for 8 years or more (I'm 26) and it'll only get worse so wear that badge of honour.

  9. One of the coldest days of the winter and you got rid of your insulation! What were you thinking?

  10. Maybe I'm rubbing off on you.... like the time I used your beard trimmer to "trim" my bangs... and after I had done a lovely, straight job, noticed that not only were my bangs trimmed and straight, but the top of my eyebrows too...

    At least no one can see your back!

    'Cept me...

    : )

  11. as has already been mentioned, once you start shaving, you have to keep it up as the hair will grow back thicker. You could end up looking like a walking rug.

    But I had to laugh at the thought of you trying to shave your back.

  12. it does not grow back thicker...tis an old wives' tale.
    when I was little and I'd be in the bathroom, sometimes I'd get curious about how the razor worked, so there was one spot on my arm I'd shave sometimes...when I was like seven. You definitely can't tell where it was. does not grow back thicker.

  13. As disturbing as the whole tale was, I found myself feeling disappointed at the lack of a picture.... I am a visual learner.

  14. Okay... Gavin's comment made me step in here. Please NO PICTURE!!

    Marc and I were having a good laugh about this post last night before bed and I said that the whole thing was kind of disturbing...

    Then I realized why I found it disturbing... I have a fear about unusual (and, especially, uniform) things on people's skin -- whenever I see something strange on skin I have to look away and try to get the image out of my head as soon as possible. So, the mental image of a perfectly shaped arrow on your back is freaking me out. So, if you could let me know when that is remedied, that'd be really good... Humour a pregnant women, would you, and remove the arrow, or at least try to grow the other hair back in a hurry...?

  15. the next family gathering....get Jeff to wax your back....apparently he helps Heidi wax. ....and it would definitely distract us from MAKING you play a stupid game.

  16. [...] as my daughters call it, and she asked if I was able to clean back there. I quietly remembered my last endeavour to shave my shoulder hair which turned into an an embarrassing arrow of hair on my... and said, “Uh no, I can’t reach back [...]

  17. Randall, you made me laugh for the first time today (and it's 8pm here!) :D


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