I Was Made To Be

I was made to “be”
And out of my being, I do

My doing comes from my being.
It’s when I get that reversed, when my being comes out of my doing, that I get in trouble.

And it takes me a while to return to my be-ing.
And then life is balanced correctly again.

Because I was made to be.

Stopping for a breath and tea

It's late but I just stopped in at my local coffee shop for a cup of tea and a sit down. Remembering to rest.
If I was to sum up the day it would be all about people. I’m still catching up from my days away, and the people situations seem to pile up as well.

Questions as wide ranging as “Can I trust my heart” to “She’s done with me and I still love her.” From “Where is God in all of this,” to “The doctors don’t know what’s the cause.”

I listen and encourage and as I feel prompted, I offer my perspective to those who invite me to pastor them. I pray with them and the presence of God is there. They seem encouraged and a bit more hopeful than when I came and they will call me again. Which they do.

Today it was five different appointments with five different people. In my study, in someone’s home, on a screen with someone in another place, and two visits in the hospital.

The range of emotions and struggles that people face on any given day is breathtaking. Amazing. And if I felt like it was up to me to solve their problems, I’d have long since quit.

But pastoring is about looking for the fingerprints of God in anyone’s life and pointing them to Him and his presence there. It’s usually much more subtle than that, but that’s the essence of the work that I do.

And that’s enough for today. So I’m sitting here catching my breath before I drive home.

I think she said she’s making pork roast for supper. Yaaaaay. That’ll be good.

Caring for broken leaders, and their families

I'm in Chicago because I am on a board that does some really good work.

I get to work with some pretty amazing people and though the work is hard, we press through it together. Our work twice a year is to try to help pastors and church leaders who are in some difficult times, or they have made some bad choices in life. Either way, to try and care for their spouses and families and to get them some real help.

It’s working with broken people so that can just be tough work sometimes. But it can be very fulfilling work as well.

Another piece of life's puzzle fits into place

It has been terribly cold here in this Field for us these past few days. -38C this morning as I got ready to leave the warmth of the house. (I don't do windchill temperature any longer as it seems to be a different number in different places. And anyway if its -30s I already know its stinking cold out there and don't play around.)  So yeah, very very cold.  One poor heart froze to death in Edmonton yesterday. It is not safe out there.

I was in Denver for 10 days recently and a large part of that time there was to do the work of the Board of Ordered Ministry, a group of people in our church who gather to oversee and care for our credentialed leaders. It was my first meeting and it was challenging, intense and stressful, and fulfilling and extremely satisfying. Working with individuals who are considering credentialing with us, helping those who have stumbled and are under care, establishing processes that are helpful to individuals and churches who are looking for pastors.

As I say the work was intense yet profound, but much of the amazing-ness of the time was feeling like I was held in a level of grace so that I could do the work. Seven straight days of 10 plus hours each day, at an altitude that would always be a challenge to my lung condition, yet it all went so smoothly. I slept hard at night and woke early to face each days challenges. Then in the meetings and interviews when I needed to know a direction to move in I could simply quiet myself and I would hear the internal direction to move in, from other than myself, and it always led to life, always.

It is a reminder that when I am weak then there is room for God to be strong. It is a comfort that in those meetings that will change the whole direction of an individuals life, God is clear and leading well.

The gift to work with other hard working, Godly people from around the world is an added benefit to me. I am shaped by their discernment and grace and I am shaped by our shared experience together. God works in me, through them. And in ways I can't always immediately see, I am changed for the better. More goodness in my life.

I have been elected to five years with this board and there are at least two gatherings each year, and with the support of the local church here, it seems to be a great fit for my spirit. I am looking forward to more opportunities to live in this grace that overwhelms so deeply.


What's one of your opportunities for growth this year?

It was, I would say, a very good year.

Happy New Year dear reader. 2017 was a deeply shaping year for me I have to tell you, though not in nice and easy ways.

I deliberately haven't shared too much here in this public format about my health because we really didn't know where it would end up, and I wasn't emotionally ready to deal with where this year could have gone, at least in this space.

In the spring of the year after a winter of tests and probing and some interesting things discovered, it was found that I have the genetic disorder that eventually took my dads life. It's effect had already reached into my lungs and they were running at about %66 capacity. They had lost about a third of their ability and that can never be recovered. While there were other symptoms, that was the primary one.

Because the condition effects people differently and because its a bit of a rare thing, there aren't normal ways to predict its behaviour. It did effect the early death of my father, but his twin brother who also has the condition, is still alive and though it hasn't been easy, he is still around.  So the doctors worked to try and help me lengthen my life prospects while preparing me for really bad news that would only be seen in the ongoing development of this genetic time bomb in my body.

This news was absolutely shattering to us. The encouragement by the doctors to keep encouraged and  positive yet plan and consider the worst was one of those moments I have walked with others through, but never thought I would see myself.

That led to four months of emotional upheaval and calling out to God. Many tears were shed as we began to see our future in terms of months and years rather than decades. Dreams for the future were let go of as we tried to think how to finish well, though sooner than we had expected. Lauralea and I had to have emotionally charged conversations about where to live and what it would look like even if or when it might be without me present. Such difficult times in late spring. I recall wave after wave of emotion rolling over us.

The kids were great though processing it all themselves. The morbid Friesen sense of humour took over on the really hard conversations and emotion was released in the form of laughter. It was better to have that than all the tears.

The church here was amazingly supportive. They walked with us through the days giving us what we needed in terms of time and space, even as they were trying to process it themselves while not knowing the extent of the condition either. And they began to pray for us very focussed prayers and we were held by them.  We felt the difference the prayers of the people made. There was grace and strength for each day and each conversation. In that way it was a most blessed season of life. To be prayed for is the most precious of gifts one soul can give another. And we were prayed for.

Though the summer different symptoms would come up and we were unsure if they were part of the condition or some other thing. The doctors helped us as these things arose and we dealt with them as they came up.

By late summer we felt mostly normal though I couldn't do heavy labour or run a marathon.  I noticed a bit of stress when the smoke from the forest fires settled in here, it was harder to breathe. But mostly things settled into a good rhythm, and I felt quite myself.

I should note the presence of God we felt in our daily lives was a wonderful gift to us. It was, He was, a tangible presence here.  I experienced what it was like to be the care receiver rather than the care giver. To be the one in the figurative hospital bed rather than the one standing beside the bed offering spiritual care.

One of the biggest spiritual challenges to me was to face my personal identity if and when I would need to be on disability. Would I have any value to God if I couldn't work for him any longer? I have often preached that we are not valued by God by the work we do for him, and I do believe that. But this, this was owning it myself, and I was not honestly sure I could do that. My counsellor held this before me and walked through it with me.  I came to really see myself as the beloved of God. In fresh ways seeing myself as completely unable to add to my value before God by the things that I do. It was a deeply personal and fresh epiphany. It is one thing to preach it and believe it but it is another deeply personal thing to experience it for oneself.

(And may I here add a personal encouragement for having an experienced counsellor in your life, especially if you are a leader of people? The value of this resource is immeasurable in terms of spiritual, emotional and mental health.)

The other big growing area was the weakening of my strengths. I have always been proud that due to the voice lessons I took in college, I could usually project my voice clearly and loudly enough to be heard, inside or outside or whatever the context. I own that I was proud of this ability.  Well, either the meds I'm on or the condition itself has effected my vocal chords so that on some days I have to struggle to be heard. My voice is higher in pitch and some days it just sounds like I have a very bad cold and can't talk loud at all. It's been very humbling.

When I stopped being angry about this change, which I mostly am now, I began to discover that in this weakness there seemed to be more strength in my spirit, to preach well. I began to trust in God to actually get the message out even through the weakness of my own body. This new weakness has opened up new ways for God to be God in power, in me yes but also through me. Turns out He doesn't need my strong voice. This is deeply humbling too, but grace filled and merciful.


The testing of my foundations this year, the deepening of my spirit and my connections with Lauralea and our kids and God and this church, that's what this year has been about for me here in this field.

My counsellor asked me last time we met if the year of emotional turmoil and physical struggle was worth all that I've gained through it. With a moment of reflection I replied "Oh yes, without any question!"


This autumn I went in for my six month lung check up and much to the Doctors pleasure and mine as well it showed that there was no further deterioration in my lungs. So things are holding and the condition isn't progressing right now. The doctor says he is "Cautiously optimistic."

I can live a long time with 2/3rds of my lung capacity, as long as Lauralea doesn't walk too fast.
God is still writing this story it seems.

It was, I would say, a very good year.

Where Is The Wonder?

Very few of us as human beings, are given a great dose of Wonder to face life with.

For most of us as we transform from children to adults, we lose the sense of wonder. The grace of awe.  We trade it for a harsh dose of reality. Maybe especially this year.

The wise ones hold on to their wonder, and the rest of us look at them with impatience, wondering when they will grow up and face the world like the rest of us do.

We say “Grow up” BUT Jesus said you must become as a little child.

Christmas is a time when wonder is real, when Wonder became flesh and dwelt among us.

Here's my talk this morning about wonder. It may be time to add some more to your life.

Where is the Wonder?

Into The Quiet

A week ago I was in this place.
Introducing people to the wonders of silence, and solitude, and quietening the noise so that you could hear your heart beat again. Because when you get still and you listen, God is there. And he has things to say.

People are longing for that gift, more and more.
And I love showing them the possibilities in it.

Sideways thoughts on the human condition: Aloneness

Tonight I met with an individual in my office.
Their story is personal and painful and is very unique. And bless them they were willing to trust me with it. I listened and prayed and reflected on the struggles they faced.
And I was glad I was able to be present to them, and that it seemed that what small insights I had to share with them were helpful and occasionally insightful.

However, I came away with an increased sense that so many people around here these days are hurting so deeply. Deeply, as in where do I go for help, for some answers. That kind of deep pain.

The levels of personal struggle, loss and pain felt by so many people, are real and often hopeless. And all I am able to do is spend some time and in a way be with them, and listen to them. As this individual stated, "Sometimes its a helpful thing to be able to speak the words out loud." And they are right. Being heard is a help in and of itself.

And while our chat was going on, my phone in my breast pocked was giving me a short vibration each time a couple of friends were communicating with one another. It was too late to pull the phone out and shut if off, but each vibration was a communication of care. I knew that they were communicating and that they were watching out for each other, because that is who they are. It was oddly comforting, their vibrating presence there.

And I think that is a good part of life's biggest struggles. That we don't always have somebody to talk with or to listen to us when its needed. When comfort is required or a gentle push is the answer for us.

Yet there can be life there in those good supportive relationships.

As I tell the kids, being married doesn't mean you always have a built in listener, nor does being alone mean you have no listeners either. Learning to listen is always a good thing. Always. And learning to be heard, to communicate is also one of life's great helps.

So maybe this aloneness we experience as humans can be helped by learning to listening, and by practicing the vulnerability needed to share your heart with another.

You may find answers in the places you least expect them.

Silence is not a negative, not an absence at all...

Silence was one of those things that I never really understood as a younger person. I knew it was life giving to me, and that I desired it. But I thought it was a place empty of everything else rather than what I have come to understand now, that it is a condition of abundance, of life.

This post I am quoting below has meant more to me in my understanding of silence through the years. The place that used to host it changed, and it took me some time to rediscover it. Now that I've found it, like a treasure I don't want to lose it.

It's by Vianney Carriere, and presently it's hosted here.

Now there was a  great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake, a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. (Kings: 18: 11-13)

Silence is something like one’s good health. It is most prized when abruptly taken away, most cherished when suddenly recovered, when, as with the rush of light, we suddenly realize that we have been deprived of it for a long time. Then as it returns, a wealth of rediscovered feelings comes with it. Silence begins as something external and it becomes a state of being.

People who live in cities almost never experience silence. There is always something – traffic in the distance, the chatter of neighbours, a far-off siren, even the white noise of office buildings.

Yet it is a mistake to think of silence as the absence of noise. Silence is not a negative, not an absence at all, but an overwhelming presence, an awesome something that brings sustaining and resuscitating gifts all the more precious for their rarity. Silence is a wonder for all the faces that it has, all the garments that it wears, the nuances and qualities that come with it: the silence of a starlit night in a wilderness; the silence of a deserted church, empty yet holy, the engulfing silence of fresh snow, the silence that passes in a glance between a loving couple, running like electricity through a wire. All different. All magical.

That is why we whisper when we pray, why our “I love you’s” are spoken so softly – it is isn’t all reticence or a need for privacy. It is a tribute to the silence of special places and special moments, the mystery of special moods that we know are so fragile and so transitory that the merest sound can drive then away. We know in our very soul that we ought not to disturb these times. They are as skylarks, timid, every poised to swoosh away.

The very best kind of communication that can happen between people is silent. This is one of life’s mysteries – how we, as a species with the marvelous and unique gift of speech, make ourselves understood, share a moment, communicate our love and our passion with a look or a glance, so much more effectively than we do with words.

So much of what we say to people with whom we live and work or to people whom we meet is not important at all. It won’t be remembered or it will be misunderstood. The really crucial things are communicated wordlessly, punctuated, perhaps with a mere squeeze of the hand, with a smile, or with a look with which you suddenly find yourself gazing into the very depths of someone else’s silence.

The wordless way we have of communicating our really vital thoughts and emotions are as personal as fingerprints. No two people do this the same way. It requires awareness, fullness of soul, love, and silence. Silence, above all, cannot be dispensed with.

It is a way of communicating not unlike the way we are taught, as infants, to communicate with God, the way we are taught to pray. Prayer, even for those who find it difficult, is enabled by silence. Silence, stillness, is the route to holiness and to communion with God, much more so than the other props we’ve picked up, the icons of prayer, the formulaic words we learn as children, the beads of a rosary, the gestures.

There is a reason, surely, why Jesus and all the prophets sought out the wilderness in their quest for inspiration and to nurture their special sight. They were seeking holy silence – the consuming presence of an empty, quiet space, which is the surest conduit to God and the things of God that nature allows.

To seek silence is to seek God; to love silence, to learn the beauty of stillness, is to invite God to touch us and our lives. And in silence, in this private, internal wilderness that we create, God finds us, as he once found the prophets, and speaks to us in ways that can enlighten, inspire or confound. That is another mystery, another level of communication, another place. A silent place is a holy place if only we can learn to hear and love that mystical nothingness that is everything.

When a wall is not a wall

It’s been a busy few weeks since getting back from Israel/Palestine and getting things ready for Easter have been front and center. Mostly.

I have reoccurring memories of people I met while in that part of the world and I am finding that prayer is a good response as I think of the new friends there and the ongoing story unfolding in that region. I read the news now with a much keener sense of the dynamics for the local people. It saddens me to see the peace process struggle.

Selfie at the Western Wall

There were, during the trip, a few surprises for me. Certainly one of the biggest came on the last Sunday before we left the country. We had been moving through the market tunnels of the old city of Jerusalem, clearing the gates and metal detectors as we went. The dark tunnels suddenly gave way to the bright daylight sun as we entered into a great square. The ground was stone and the walls reaching up around us were all made of stone, and as my eyes grew accustomed to the bright sun, I saw ahead of us in the near distance, a great stone wall. The Wailing Wall, the Western Wall.

This wall is apparently a remnant of the ancient wall that surrounded the Jewish Temple's courtyard, and is arguably the most sacred site recognized by the Jewish faith outside of the Temple Mount itself. It has been a site for Jewish prayer and pilgrimage for centuries. Some of the earliest sources mention Jewish attachment to the site as early as the 4th century.

The Wailing or Western Wall. Men on the left, ladies on the right.

I stopped and stood there sort of gazing at it like I do when I come face to face with a piece of geographical wonder that I’ve only seen in photos. You know, sort of like when I first came up out of the tube station and saw Trafalgar Square or when I stood at the base of the CN Tower in Toronto or saw the skyline of Chicago or when I first saw the Empire State building in person. There is for me a “Ahh” moment when I take the time to be present to where I am and what I am seeing. So it was for me at the Western Wall in Jerusalem.

Of course I took pictures, but then I wanted to, you guessed it, I wanted to touch it. I wanted to pray where millions have prayed. To call out to God, not out of a sense of superstition, but more from the place of my inner relationship with God, in this very outer, very prayed at place.

I entered through the mens side and selected an appropriate head covering, and started to walk to toward the wall. Thankfully it wasn’t a crowded day so there was room to pray.

Now, I have been in places that some people including myself, have experienced as “Thin places.” Places where heaven and earth seem to meet and the access to prayer and to God is almost seamless. Places or times when it seems like one’s heart is instantly drawn to prayer, and to God Himself. I have been in those sorts of places. This, was more open to heaven than many places I’ve been.

As I drew near to my selected place for prayer my spirit was already engaging and as I lifted my hands to lean into the wall, it was as if I was received into it in a most hospitable, gracious way. I leaned into it more as my spirit began to pray and my forehead found a place to rest in the rock. It was amazing.

Quietly and quickly the words poured out of me, words of conversation and connection with The Holy. Words and senses I did and didn’t understand. But my spirit was conversing with The Spirit.

Me praying. (Taken by my friend John.)

I knew that time was limited but I also knew I was in no real rush to reconnect with my travel companions. I stood there for what seemed like a mini forever and I didn’t want to leave. I pressed in and prayed further and there was such largeness to pray. Such room to call out praise and thanksgiving and to petition and to pray. Such a large space for my spirit to explore the praying and where I was, time stood still.


Finally, finally, after a season I began to pull away, as though I started to recall my spirit back into it’s container. Called it back from the wide open space and time. Called it back to the present with the same sense of “I’ll be back” as the children felt when they returned to the Now from Narnia.

I stepped back from the wall partly in awe, partly sad to turn away. Glad for the moments, wishing for more. What a gift it was to me. A promise, a future, a now.


And so I’ve been reflecting since then, was it just me? Was it the wonder of being in the physical place? Did I make that all happen in my head?

No.

There are places and times when God is near and ready and open to conversation and connection. That’s the beauty of a two way relationship over and above a one way worshipping a God on a shelf sort of thing. It’s dynamic, it’s living. Others experiences there may vary. But it fits quite nicely with the God I’ve come to know, through Jesus, who as it happens, has prayed in the area too.

It was a grace to me and a reminder of so many things yet to come. Amazing things to see and hear and know.  Amazing and wonder-filled.

A great weekend.

And so we had a great weekend out at camp leading the Contemplative Spirituality Retreat, otherwise known as the "Getting quiet so we can hear God" retreat.

The weather was stunning and people were in a place to engage with God, so he was there too.

Here are some pictures of the fun.

After ten hours of personal Spiritual direction and about six hours of instruction, added to prayers, conversations, sharing, good food, I was done in.

Slept for 12 hours into Monday, and into bed by ten Monday night.

God is good.

Come and join us for retreat.

"The Gospels reveal the clear pattern in the life of Jesus where He retreated regularly to the wilderness or desert or lonely place, in order to sustain a contemplative life and intimacy with his father. Withdrawing to a quiet place was His rhythm. In our lives, contemplative retreats are about listening and waiting for God and rediscovering stillness and making room for those habits in the rhythm of our lives.

We offer you this retreat as a gift. To withdraw, to Sabbath, to rest. To listen and receive what God may be wanting to offer you.

We will include times of silence and solitude as well as opportunities to explore spiritual disciplines for yourself. Simple corporate worship will also be a part of the rhythm of each day and a Spiritual Director will be available should you desire to talk with one.

We invite you to come and withdraw from the rush of the world.

Come and retreat."

Sign up here. http://covenantbay.ca/index.php?option=com_civicrm&task=civicrm%2Fevent%2Finfo&Itemid=364&reset=1&id=14

See you there.

Some days I live in a park.

Today is a high of 16C out there. It's a bit blustery and rain coming and going.

I know it's strange but I love these days. They make me feel alive. Perfect for hot tea and long sleeves and working in my office.

I need to head out for visits this afternoon, but for now I'm enjoying my tea and doing prep work for a Contemplative Retreat I'm leading next month. 

Come if you can.

Some words prepared for a memorial service tomorrow.

Jesus said, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.”
“No, we don’t know, Lord,” Thomas said. “We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.

John 14:1-6

This is the blessing.

Life is sometimes called a journey. Thomas, like any man on a journey, is looking for a map.
"How can we know the way to the place God is creating for each of us?" Is his question.

And in one sentence, Jesus sets everything in place.
He moves away from maps to relationship.

“I am the way” he says.

It’s not in a map but in a relationship that we find our way.
The way to the places created by the Father for our eternity.
Safe, blessed places in our Fathers home. Heaven.
They are accessible not with a map, but with a friendship.


The beauty of all our lives is that we are still alive and we have the knowledge that one day we won't be alive any longer.  There is a clear sense for all of us if we are willing to face it, that things will come to a conclusion. We will all die.

This knowledge is a great gift from God, because it means that we have the opportunity to think about our future. We have time to consider our journey, our map, our chosen road.


Because we are still on this side of death, we have opportunity to consider the great truths of life, and the relationships we enjoy.

It’s good at times like this to consider our relationship with God.
It’s not a map we need, but a friendship, with Jesus.

A Simple Introduction to Spiritual Direction

"To listen a soul into disclosure and discovery is the greatest service one human being can do for another."
-- Quaker Saying

It was a regular Wednesday morning when I went to meet with my Spiritual Director and I honestly didn’t feel there was much to talk about that morning. That’s how it is sometimes, nothing profound or amazing to share, just life. However, the gift of having someone willing to listen with me, and to me for an hour is an amazing gift to any human being. So I continued on my way.

When I arrived and my director opened our time together she just created a comfortable space for silence. Silence was what I needed that morning. The comfort of another soul present with me, yet with no expectation that I do or say anything.

Then in that quiet place, God began to gently prod me forward, showing me a heavy place in my heart. I began to explore the darkness out loud, as a conversation between myself and my Spiritual Director. It was about my relationship with one of my grown kids and how it had effected me.

As I talked there was sudden emotion there as God showed me my heart in it’s broken state. The words poured out of me as I identified the pain and even the legitimacy of the pain. I was surprised that it was there still, even after the years.

And as the hour went on, my director just created space for it to unfold. Asking occasional questions when she saw I was perhaps missing or denying something. Supporting me, identifying an emotion I was feeling but unable to name. Mostly just being a witness of my conversation with God.

I continued for the next forty five minutes, in some amazement, to review all the things God was showing me about my relationship with my child. For me in that holy place with God, there were new levels of healing.

It was later that morning while I was doing some homework for a class that I was taking that God showed his masterful way of loving me. I was handed a picture from an old calendar that I was to use as a theme to write a prayer about. A simple picture of a kitchen door slightly ajar and on the mat inside were two sets of rubber boots. One set for an adult and another set for a small child. I did a double take as I saw that the child's boots were identical to the set my child had when they were just three years old.

I was overwhelmed. I laughed quietly to myself. God really does love me the best.

------------------------------------------------

Spiritual Direction is a process through which an individual becomes more aware of their relationship with God. Through conversation, prayer, and time spent with a Spiritual Director, an individual comes to a deeper awareness of the presence and activity of God in their own life.

As you meet together and share the ongoing story of your life, the Spiritual Director will help you to notice and respond to the activity of God in your life. The Director is a listening and supportive person who creates an environment where you can take time to honestly look at your relationship with God. He or she will walk alongside you as a soul friend and listen with you, for the work of the Holy Spirit in your life.

We understand that God acts in every area of our lives. God is there in our doubt as well as our certainty, in our weakness as well as our wholeness. That is why there is no need to focus solely on "religious" topics as if spirituality were a separate section of our lives. The primary relationship will be between the directee and God, the director acts as an extra set of ears and eyes for the individual seeking to grow with God.

Even though it may seem similar, Spiritual Direction is not therapy or counseling. The goal of Spiritual Direction is to see and hear God's activity in a directee's life, while the goal of counseling is to regain health. While Spiritual Directors may be trained in offering direction, not all of them have been trained in therapy or counseling.

Meetings typically occur once every 3-4 weeks although that may increase during crisis times. Some directors do charge for appointments which may be a flat hourly rate or it may be on a donation basis. It may also be free to you, however this should be communicated to you during the first, exploratory meeting.

Through this ministry one finds a spiritual companion who can listen to the stories of one's life and help discern the presence and work of God's Spirit.  Sometimes we just need a "soul friend" to help us to recognize God's voice and respond to his presence.


Article for The Messenger
July 4, 2013
Randall Friesen

Tonight I am in Winnipeg

I've been here for the weekend working with a bunch of twenty something's as they explore what it means to be intentional about their faith. It's been a very satisfying time sharing life with these kids and being trusted with their stories and struggles.

Saturday I worked at Spiritual Direction with, I believe it was ten of them. Then in the evening I led them in a Celtic version of communion.

Today I preached in their morning service and we shared a meal together. Then this afternoon we went out to connect with friends we know who are in their young thirties, and consider themselves to be an older couple in this church. It's quite a gathering of young people.

Yeah, it was a great weekend.
As I wrote a while ago, working with younger people is a challenging, and deeply fulfilling work.
The downside is that when you are around them a lot, you get the feeling that you are old. Very old.


Goodnight, from Winnipeg.

Made for Community

I think that if I were to recognize one sort of overarching theme of my life's work, I think it would have to be how passionate I am about community and especially the church as community.

It's amazingly driven into my whole being that we were not made to be alone, and until we can somehow become a part of a community that can know us, and whom we trust and respect and can be vulnerable and intimate with, I think we will just skim along the surfaces of life.

So it's talks like these that get me going.

Here is a talk I gave last Sunday, September 11, 2011 about how we were made to be a part of community.

Remember, the context here is unique and so the references and jokes may not fit where you are, but I hope it just gives you pause to think about the communities you are involved in.

Here is the link. (50 extra points to whomever gets the SNL reference.)


Made for Community

A strongly encouraged, gentle reminder to listen and communicate

We have all of us, or most of us, a quiet current if intimate thought, which flows on, gently and resistlessly, in the background of our lives, the volume and spring of which we cannot alter or diminish, because it rises far away at some unseen source, like a stream which flows through grassy pastures, and is fed by rain which falls on unknown hills from the clouds of heaven. This inner thought is hardly affected by the busy incidents of life - our work, our engagements, our public intercourse; but because it represents the self which we are always alone with, it makes up the greater part of our life, and is much more our real and true life than the life which we lead in public. It contains the things which we feel and hope, rather than what we say; and the fact that we do not speak our inner thoughts is what more than anything else keeps us apart from each other.

Preface from Joyous Guard by Arthur C. Benson, 1913

A gentle reminder that our inner lives are of such importance and power, far greater even than our physical lives. Yet we take such little notice of them and make no great effort to review or shape them or get help when we seem to be inwardly ill or moving in circles that drag us downward. Having a friend to share our inner intimate struggles and dreams with can be as healthy and helpful as having a counsellor or Spiritual Director to assist us. Yet many do not even have this great gift of a confidant.

When we don't have people who can listen to us and who's opinion we trust, we become less than. If we continue down this path we can become hard and our spirits shrink. We lose our way, becoming confused and unclear, withdrawing from the world more and more.

Many of us prefer the perceived safety of being our own best friends and trusting no one outside ourselves. This is so dangerous. While our friends try to get our attention and our spouses try to communicate past our walls of protection or our children call for aid, we are obliviously propping up our inner lives we've created to please ourselves. It is the great lie that we are enough in ourselves. We are not enough, and we need others to speak into our lives as much as we need a touch, a hug, an embrace.

If you are not giving attention to your inner life in ways that share with others, a friend, a spouse, even a counsellor or Spiritual Director, then you are living on borrowed time.

Someone nearby may be trying to get your attention.

In Defense Of Therapy - Jonah Lehrer

Not surprisingly, patients who escaped depression with the help of anti-depressants, and then stopped taking the drugs, relapsed about 70 percent of the time. The chemical boost was temporary. However, during the 18 month follow-up period, only 28 percent of patients in mindfulness therapy slipped back into the mental illness.

What we often forget is that therapy alters the chemical brain, just like a pill. It’s easy to dismiss words as airy nothings and talk therapy as mere talk. Sitting on a couch can seem like such an antiquated form of treatment. But the right kind of talk can fix our broken mind, helping us escape from the recursive loop of stress and negative emotion that’s making us depressed. Changing our thoughts is never easy and, in severe cases, might seem virtually impossible. We live busy lives and therapy requires hours of work and constant practice; our cortex can be so damn stubborn. But the data is clear: If we are seeking a long-lasting cure for depression, then it’s typically our most effective treatment.

via. via.

"Sometime I can't feel God and that makes me think that it's forced and fake"

Dear: ________________

You're never a bother, so we can strike that lie off the list right away.

When it's time for God to take you to a new level, he lets go of your hands, just a bit. Like a parent teaching his child to walk. The child doesn't like the feeling of being alone, standing there under their own power, unsure of things, and they start to cry. For us too when God is teaching us to stand up and walk through life, he sometimes lets go of our hands just for a second, to encourage us to begin to walk and relate to him on more grownup levels.

To us it feels like he isn't anywhere around, and the lies we hear are just shots at that insecurity sent during those moments of vulnerability. But the truth is he's right there and acting on faith that he's there isn't a lie, or fake. That's faith.

That muscle of faith will grow and grow and you and him will go deeper as a result. Just because we can't feel him doesn't mean he isn't there. If that were the case then our faith would be built on the subjectivity of feelings, but it's not. It's built on trust and his work on our behalf, and it's built on our history together.

If you go into sin and it feels like a big separation between you and him, then yes he'll let you know that is the problem. But when you are just living life and it feels like he's not close all of a sudden, thats where your faith can grow and soon you'll see that he was there all the time.

This faith can grow to the point of you being in great storms in life when all is swirling around you and you haven't "Felt" God for days, but you are anchored to him beneath the rough waves of life. That faith will get you through many tough times, trusting him when your surroundings say otherwise. Seems like he is in the process of growing that in you a bit. That can be a tough thing, but it's also good.

So keep walking the direction you were moving in when you last heard him speak. And trust him, grow faith, and ignore the lies that tell you it's fake or unreal. When you learn to trust him it will grow like a big safety net and you'll feel better daily, even when you can't feel him.

I'm praying for you and you should pray too even if your head says it's pointless, stretch the faith a bit more. And it's always good to get others to pray for you because there is deep power in that.

Take care out there.


Night.