Friday, March 09, 2007
One of the lessons I have learned this week comes as a surprise to me, mainly because I thought I already knew it.

Some people will never be happy.

I mean, they just won't be happy.

I know this, to be sure, but these days I know it like I haven't known it before.

I like to try to make people happy, so that their lives are a bit better as we spin on this orb. So i try this or that to help them on their way.

Sometimes the "This or that" is a small thing, simple really. While other times I try some big thing that would make their whole lives easier.

And my conclusion is that some people just will not be happy. And it's not about me, or what I do or don't do, that's just who they were before they showed up and who they'll be after they leave.

Which is hugely sad to me. I mean, life can be hard and miserable enough without being unhappy all the time. That's gotta end up being a huge thing to carry around with you.

But it does free me up from taking it so personally sometimes. I tend to do that I guess.

Then there are those who are simply the opposite.

And I'm so glad I'm married to one.


  1. Something I learned in my early 30s was that it is possible to go through life moaning and complaining about everything. Or not.

    Grumbling is a choice we CAN make, and choosing not to affects both how other people see us and how we view the world from inside out own heads. I learned this from observing a particular couple (Dorothy and Stuart Elford, if they should ever see this) who could smile and have fun even when cold, wet and covered in mud. They are now teaching and living in Romania (and have been for more than a decade. Considering for a moment, there were quite a lot of things I learned from them.

  2. I have learned that myself. Fortunately it is a good lesson to learn especially when you are a waitress. I have found some people decide to be unhappy before they even go out and some people seem to feel better (odd I know) when they feel terrible. There is nothing you can do or say to make them happy; they just need to feel bad ALL the time.

    I am sure in your line of work you have come across the people who constantly have something the matter and are constantly bringing it to people's attention in order for everyone to feel badly for them.

  3. As my children get older, I'm learning that I can't -- and don't have to -- be responsible for their personal happiness. It's been a hard lesson to learn, but I'm realizing that as they move into adulthood they have to learn to deal with things themselves. And sometimes they will be in a bad mood and it will not always be something I can fix. (and I want to, so much, because I'm their mother and that's what mothers are supposed to do, right?) I hope that most of the time they'll be happy people, and we've tried to give them the right tools to be happy people, but each of my kids is a distinct individual who will make his or her own choices and sometimes they're going to be moody and cranky. I'm realizing that it's not really easier to be the parent of an adult child. :) (the boo-boos are usually bigger and harder to heal, for one thing) And I'm leaning more and more on God to watch out for them.


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