Surprise!

To say I have been distracted these past couple of weeks would be an understatement in the same vein as calling the Ark just a boat, or Brett Favre just a quarterback.

No, Lauralea and I, for a number of very good reasons, which don't concern you, have been worried/shocked/dumbfounded/surprised that Lauralea might be pregnant.

Yeah, there it is, its out there. No joke. Really.

Ten days of a growing realization that after 13 years of no new babies, and at the age of 43, we might get to do it all over again.

Cribs and snowsuits, diapers and baby constipation. Night feedings, colic, projectile vomiting, dirty diapers. 3 am crawling under the crib looking for lost soothers, learning to walk, eating the green stuff, learning ABC's and reading, tying shoelaces, runny noses, kindergarten, PTA, parent Tea's, band concerts, braces, teenage angst, teaching them to drive, oh my oh my oh my.

The shock to my 43 year old system nearly did me in!

In a way, it was a similar feeling process to when my dad died. Everything was rethought without him there. You know, suddenly you realize he wouldn't be there for Christmas and you stop and think what that looks like and you process that change.

Similarly, I found my days, nights, and middle of the nights processing the same things. Hmm, a new baby in the house, I won't be able to sleep like this, we'll need all the baby "stuff", what will our daily lives look like doing this again, and Christmas and babysitters and going to small group and simple things like going to a movie. My head was going faster than a Japanese bullet train.

And all that playing off the emotional joy that comes when a baby comes to live with you.

Distracted? Completely.

A roller coaster? Yes. Most definitely.

Terror and excitement at the same time? Absolutely.

Having children when your children might be having their own children a few years down the road? Well, embarrassing really. Yet not unpleasing.

As Lauralea and I talked it through, again and again, looking to one another for support, it seemed she was thinking similar things. A willingness to accept this as a part of our lives together, a joy at the prospect of a baby coming to live with us. And a deep sigh of relief when it proved to be false.

Oddly, its a sense of relief and sorrow that is left behind after a couple of weeks like this.

You live into so many possibilities during those days, good ones and difficult ones, that after the possibility is gone you are kind of left standing there with a stunned look on your face, and a weird mixed feeling of fullness and emptiness in your heart.

Sigh. Deep breath.

So yeah, anything exciting happen to you this month?
Oh, and you gotta know I already had a doosie of a practical joke set up for April 1.

God is good, and it seems, does have a sense of humor.

15 comments:

  1. You have this categorized as "Daily".

    My brain is having a hard time understanding that classification of this post. You clearly have a very different understanding of "daily".

    My prayers are with you guys. Clarity is good; and urgency, well, that's best seen in my 3 1/2 year old on the way to the potty. (Sunday he didn't get there in time and I had one of my deacons tell me: "Pastor, your son is walking naked through the church, well, that's not true, he has a shirt on."

    Thankfully, I wasn't giving a sermon at the time.

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  2. it also helps to finish the story before you comment. But still, dude

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  3. haha....pretty much almost had a heart attack myself halfway through. Then I remembered it was near the end of March, so I quickly went to the little clock in the corner of the desktop to see what the date was. Saw that it was only the 27th, felt my heart drop a little lower, then finished your story.

    not that a baby would be bad.....just a lot of work and tiring and...and you're too old! I could have kids by this time!

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  4. Man oh Man, no wonder you looked more and more tired. Terror and excitement takes alot out one's energy supply.
    I sorta know where you're coming from. When we found out that Lisa was pregant 6 months in to our marriage, it was a shocker and the terror and excitement took over. We planned on not having children for 3 years. But I wouldn't have it any other way...now.

    Praying for you and your family.

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  5. I was kind of hoping it was true. Is that bad?

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  6. And I thought pastors didn't have sex.

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  7. I'm sorry, I just don;t get it. Is this an April Fool's joke or is it real?

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  8. Doug:
    Other than "Prayer" I didn't know how else to categorize it.


    Marc:
    It's not bad at all. A part of me hoped the same thing.


    Linea:
    What does sex have to do with possibly being pregnant? I don't get the connection?


    Kevin:
    No, no joke. For the past ten days we have been under the distinct impression that we may be pregnant.

    And the joke was going to be me announcing in church that we were pregnant. Then follow all the ooh's and ah's, then remind the people that the date was April 1. Then let them go away thinking it was really a joke, when it was true.

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  9. God did say to be fruitful and multiply, but I guess it's OK to stop eventually.

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  10. Okay I have a few things to say.

    First although really highly unlikely for us I do know we have had a pondering (rather than a scare) like this one.

    Second if you guys were in fact pregnant then I would really have to talk to Trevor about us getting one of those because apparently babies are all the rage. Even the pastors doing it.

    Third I too had to check the calendar and thought you were just leading up to a really well planned out April Fools Joke (although it would be slightly redundant from last year)

    Whew no wonder she had to get away for a week.

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  11. FYI: I did read the email through to the end. However, I know first hand that the mental gymnastics involved in these things are exhausting. I also was trying to bring a smile(s) to the otherwise difficult situation.

    Blessings.
    DJR

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  12. LOL. My mom thought she was pregnant a few years back. Turned out it was menopause.

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  13. Doug, you did give me a smile, thanks.



    Beck, it may turn out to be something similar. i guess we'll see.

    :)

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  14. Based on the congratulations I'm getting, I should state that in the post it says, "And a deep sigh of relief when it proved to be false."

    We are NOT pregnant.

    The form of "Surgery" we have had has a very high failure rate, and the discovery that the med Lauralea takes to control her Diabetes is also used as a fertility drug, didn't help matters at all.

    But, as far as I know, as of this date, we are not pregnant.

    No joke, no lie, no baby.


    But, she arrives home today, so we'll see how things go.

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