I miss my old van's keys

The keys to the Velvet Fog were perfectly formed so that when I had an itch deep inside my ear, in they would go and reach the spot nicely. They were also great for when it was time to clean em out. The ears I mean. Just shove a key in the ear and you're good for another month.

But these new keys just don't fit as well. I get crazy when my inner ear itches and I've got nothing to reach in there with.

It's tough being me.


  1. You still hearing out of that ear?

  2. So have you got a New Year's resolution to tell us vaguely gross bodily facts about youself every couple of weeks? First there was the zit, now ear picking, where will it end ?

  3. My mom used to tell me that I should never put anything smaller than my elbow into my ear. Proably sound advice, though I can't say I've always followed it. I've never tried using car keys for mining earwax.

  4. This is an important issue and I think we should discuss it further.

    I use a Q-tip in my ear every morning. The Q-tip people, probably as a liability-related precaution, warn that I should never stick the Q-tip into my ear canal. But, unless I misunderstand basic ear structure, the ear canal is precisely where the wax (and the itch) are, unless you leave the issue for so long that the wax starts oozing into the outer ear (which would still leave plenty in the canal). I refuse to wait that long, so I deftly maneuver that Q-tip into my ear canal on a daily basis. I never force it, but I ain't no coward either.

    Am in danger of damaging my ears?

  5. Dear Waxy (And Phil for that matter.)

    The Q-Tip people and Phil's mother were probably right, you shouldn't go sticking anything up your ear. So I would take the Q-Tip people's advice and stop purchasing the Q-Tips.

    (Their sales and promotion department must be a mess)

    I started the "Key Scrape" as a way of paying homage to my late maternal grandfather who regularly cleaned out his ears in this manner. (Mostly because I couldn't blow my nose like he did, without a kleenx by plugging one hole and clearing the other with a shot of air - Sorry Barb)

    And once I tried it, sweet day, that had been the tool I'd been waiting for.

  6. If your keys no longer work, you could adopt the L.E.O. method of ear cleaning and use your glasses.


  7. Not only your grandfather, but I do believe I remember your father doing the exact same thing.
    In reference to Q-tips, my vet told me the same thing about Ruby's ears. Don't put anything in them. But that begs the question, why do they make those Q-tips with the medicine in them to clean ears, if you are not supposed to be doing it?

  8. ... they make Q-Tips with Medicine in them??

    Where were they when the kids were small?

    Dad did it too eh.
    Maybe why I've been thinking about him lately.

  9. Odd that this post of all your posts should receive this many comments. This must say something about us. (Especially me as I've now posted twice)

  10. Yes, I think we've struck ear wax here.

    So, how do most people get the ear wax out of their ears?

  11. But if you're not supposed to put them in your ear, why do they make them the perfect size, shape and texture for doing just that?


I'm moderating all the comments these days.