June 24 will always be a little different

Really strange day today.
In the morning I kept busy at a ministerial prayer time in town and then I figured a good way to deal with the strange sadness that seemed nearby was to go and visit some elderly ladies and listen again to the stories of their lives.

It was a really good thing to do. But as I drove home from town at lunch, I was feeling completely exhausted, even hard to keep my eyes open while I drove. Probably just the emotions of the day.

So it's been a day of just being off my stride just a touch. And exhausted as well.

But it was three years ago that dad died suddenly. Three years ago, 9:38 in the morning on the way to Hillary's grad, I got the call walking up to the school. What a long, difficult day.



I miss him for more reasons than I care to explore here tonight.

But I'm glad for a good memory of him, and I'm glad that on June 24 I can recall that it was good to have him as my dad.

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5 comments:

  1. As long as you remember him in your thoughts and prayers, he isn't that far away. Angels seem to have a way of ministering to us from the great beyond. I am sure he is watching over you and I am sure he mentions your name to God as well. And isn't that a good thing.

    Jeremy

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  2. Randall - don't be hard on yourself in terms of expecting everything to be normal. When you're going through emotions like this they DO drain away energy and endurance, and it's quite normal to be tired beyond expectation.

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  3. "Grief is the experience of finding yourself standing alone in the vacant space with all this torn emotional tissue protruding." John O'Donohue

    This same author also talks about grief as a structured journey that knows "the direction it will take you through" and advises us to trust our souls to the process. I think that for you the revisiting of this grief on the anniversary is part of your process. Its hard but necessary and part of how you do this.

    Thinking of you. May God bless your way today and each day.

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  4. Thinking of you, Randy - my thoughts are definitely with you and yours.

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  5. Well Randall, we all wish we could have our loved ones back. But unfortunately, it doesn't happen that way. As long as you celebrate his life and not dwell on the fact that he is gone, that is the best gift to someone who passed on could want.

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Thanks.