Well my children I think it only resonable to confess that I am tired. I think that today I managed 10 hours of wakefullness before I needed a nap. That bugs me because I'm so tired of health excuses. The Doctors here are pretty sure my flu was pork related, H1N1, and have told me to expect at least a month to begin to return to health. I'm tired physically and all this ongoing draging about frustrates me emotionally and spiritually. I want to go and be and do without these silly physical limitations, and I can't.
Truth is, I'm afraid of who I become when I have physical limitations, so I guess I keep fighting them and their presence. Back of it all is still the reality of growing back and leg pain that I'm trying to learn to live with and I'm afraid of how that will direct my life. Or change it.
No I've never been able to do the rope climb or do a hundred pushups, or run a 20k race, but I've never been limited physically in the work that I've done either. These days I find myself wondering if that's where I end up.
So the physical wears on the emotional which wears on the relational, or so it seems for me.
The good things are that there are good things to learn in this part of my life that i'd never have opportunity to learn anywhere else. Another good thing is that the flu was only a nasty flu for me. In Alberta today another five people died as a result of the flu.
Now I'm rolling over and going to sleep, with all my "tired" baggage.