It's been warming up outside nicely with temperatures in the positives rather than the negatives, and that's been helping the snow to go away, and the ground is thirsty so there is really no standing water around at all. In other words it feels like spring is here. finally.
Which, as it seems, brings it's own set of baggage with it.
I've been experiencing the normal-to-me feelings of spring, (no not that, or at least not just that) which are feelings of elation and lets get out there and walk and meet people and sit in outdoor cafes and see friends and get the kids bikes out and the patio furniture and lets get this party started, feelings. And, that just isn't going to happen easily here.
So it's kind of a basket full of nostalgic feelings, even connecting me with my childhood and on through my growing up and even parenting years. Just nostalgia I think.
And then I go over to google maps and hit the "StreetView" button and walk the streets we used to live and old memories flood the dry plains of my mind and it gets all soggy in there. My heart I mean.
Memories can be gracious, blessed things, and as any abuse victim can tell you they can also be evil dark tide pools of the struggling soul. I am grateful for my memories and how they are good to me. They cause me to give thanks again and again for the many good things I've experienced in life. But in times like this they can be a speed bump to my normal life.
I don't want to live in the past because then I miss the present, and I think that's not been a difficulty here yet. But it interests me that of all the seasons, this one seems the toughest, for those reasons.
So it's mid March, spring is coming, and, and, and, I may have to build a pergola or something.