I suppose I've started this post about 10 times in these past few weeks and each time the first line has sounded whinny and needy and who has time for those sorts of thoughts in the middle of a beautiful summer. But the empty space here needs attention and needs it soon.
When this summer was beginning I sort of anticipated that it would be like previous summers where things get quiet and slower and there is space for the soul to catch up with the body. Unfortunately that was not what this summer was about. I kept waiting for that but each week brought it's own requirements and demands.
I think that the good effects of this are that I am hanging on to God tighter than ever and he's there day by day, giving what is needed to make it through somehow. And I have a new co-worker here in Marc and it makes my heart rest easier when I am away from here that he is here learning the ropes.
The stresses of the season are not unique to me for they are often just a part of life. But this summer has seen health concerns for me, new diet opportunities for Lauralea and partially us, extended family tensions and health issues of loved ones. Work has picked up it's own pace as people trust me more and I am invited into difficult situations which means cool opportunities to care and serve and help, but the tensions of the stories wear on me deeply and I can get cranky at home.
Add to that the demise of the engine on the Crown Vic and some trouble with the Ford Focus, lots of fast road miles travelled to be present with family, a few financial surprises, and stick a fork in me Lauralea, I'm done.
There is a presence to Gods presence that is apparent and encouraging, but by 7pm my eyes are closing and later on I crawl into bed, done.
Maybe it's about aging, maybe its only this season, maybe I need to learn better ways to care for myself or maybe I need to stop driving Fords, but there are things to be learned these days that I can't learn when things are all happy happy or easy easy. So I'm trying to be teachable. Trying to learn.
But I'm also watching for the good times again. The simple pleasures of staying awake through a movie or relaxing into the car I'm driving without nervous tension about what that sound was. Even the feeling of not being overwhelmed can bring about a skip in the step and I will skip again.
So that's what I've done this summer.
How about you?