Because of the work that I do, Sunday night ended up being a night of very little sleep. I tried to rest but mostly just hovered near the top of my sleepability, never going deep, never falling into it with deep pleasure. Then Monday, my normal day off, ended up being more of the same, work stuff. I ended up at the office because I might as well be there if I was going to work.
By late afternoon the work was lifting and things were starting to return to a semi sort of normal. Lauralea and I in an effort to temporarily leave the world behind, got in the car and headed to town to find a bit of supper. We returned in the early evening and I retreated to the shack to see what was on in the radio world. That's when I heard that my friend had passed away.
What a day.
Add to that a late evening painful bout with an occasional health issue I live with, and I was ready for bed early.
For other reasons than the previous night, it was another night of sleeping near the surface, and when my alarm went off at 5:30 am, I was already semi conscious. Even at that dizzy hour, the heaviness still lingered. I opened my prayer page and saw the verse that had been assigned for today.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28
I lay back on my pillow and thought of all the heaviness of the past few days. The pain, the loss, not just for me but for others as well. Thought of the work that I do and how sometimes it's just too hard to do. I thought about the cost of practicing what I preach and what vulnerability had cost me this time.
I burrowed deeper into my pillow and in the darkness again looked to God with his perfect timing and good words, and I received them for myself. I txted Marc and asked him to lead early prayer with the guys, and I drifted off to sleep for a couple of more hours.
My plan this day has been simply to stay near Jesus. Yes meetings have come and I've been working, but just staying intentionally near Jesus and resting in him, is my goal.
Shortly after I got to the office, a call came that a friends wife had died in the night. Sigh.
God knows these things. The beginnings, the endings.
I choose this day to receive from him the kind of rest he offers. I choose to come to him.