Emerging from a very tough week. I wonder what I'm doing with it all.
Fighting so hard the feeling of heaviness I guess it is.
My dreams are dark. I want to crawl into a closet where no one can find me, and close the door.
Trying to keep up, keep on.
The work is challenging, and I am doing my best to keep up.
It's doable, but there is so much of it.
Feels like I'm barely holding on sometimes.
It's a season. That's all it is.
A season of struggle. And seasons come and go.
Though I am not without hope.
This season has its brightly lit moments too.
A few moments Skype with my granddaughters.
Great staff to work with.
A quiet place to live.
A bride who strokes my arm when the darkness of a sleepless night presses in.
Each one a very real gift of love to me this week.
I want to say this has been an amazingly tough week.
But it hasn't killed me, or made me withdraw.
It hasn't made my faith fail, or pushed me further from God.
Even in the darkness of this week, light has pierced through and lit up the dark.
And I am still here.
And this world is better today, because I have been in it.
And deep at the core of who I am,
that's a really good thing.
Maybe next week the seasons change.