Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Oh really, you have a car shaped hole in your heart??

In the Evangelical Covenant Church, of which I'm a part, they find that pastors are quitting after year 3 or 4ish, and then there is a chunk of them leaving around the 20 year marker. They wanted to know how to help stop this outflow, so I thought it was a helpful suggestion I made when I said every pastor should get a new red sportscar when they reach the 20 year marker...


Yeah. They didn't laugh either.


I've been thinking about that this week, the 20 year marker I mean.


I've been doing this gig for about 20 years now, and I've been asking myself some deep questions. Basic stuff. Do I want to do this all my days? Yes, I have a calling I feel I need to answer for, but is it a calling to pastor?


And I am quite paranoid you know, my own worst critic. You have no idea what goes through my head some days. Stuff about what I'm doing or not doing, should or shouldn't be doing, pastorally speaking. I can think of ten people right now, who could do this better than I could.


And, I'm not thinking about leaving here, really I'm not. Nor am I looking for sympathy, or a raise, or even a sports car, although...


I'm just trying to come to terms with myself, and my calling, and my passions, and dreams, and future, is all.


Scott, who's been a pastor a while too, is hanging it up for a bit. He expresses himself quite well I think. I know those thoughts, those voices inside his head. They've rattled through mine a time or two as well.


Check it out, then go offer up a prayer for him, and your own pastor too. Chances are good he can relate to some of it. Especially if he's been around a bit.

3 comments:

  1. I was ordained on July 1st 1985 -- and I'm still loving it. I'm perhaps a little more jaded and a little more of a contrarian -- but still loving it -- and would be more than blessed to keep at it another 20 years. My only request is for something other than a red sports car. I'd surely attract the cops and their radar guns if I drove something like that. How about a funky looking grey Scion xB? Driving that would certainly keep me from taking myself too seriously and it would match the remaining hairs on my head.

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  2. Scott raises some good points, although having read his blog for a while, I'd say he's got some significant psychological problems unrelated to his ministry that have never been sorted. He's also blogging in an open account with some fairly controversial views, which is a bit like saying "any of you axemen want a neck to swing at?". But that's all part of the above. I hope he is able to work this through with God and receive healing.



    There are cultural and church-specific issues behind this as well - it's by no means Scott's problem alone - in the right setting this might never have happened. From all I read, America tends to measure it's pastors by numerical results. Period. I'm sure that's a huge over-generalisation, but this is the feeling people report on their blogs. Certain church-practices also seem geared to persecute the pastor. Any organisation that relies on the principle of democracy (un-biblical - it would be more sound to draw lots over issues) WILL persecute it's pastor at times, and may persecute him ALL the time. I've been part of an ordinary baptist church like this, and seen how it crucifies the pastor.



    I'd see church culture as the key reason pastors feel this way, actually. What does the bible say - do not entertain an accusation against someone in leadership without 2 or 3 witnesses (translation by the gospel according to Toni's memory). There's an attitude there that could usefully be added in to church 'manners'.



    But hey, if I could vote you a raise, I'd do so ;)

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  3. Steve MenshenfriendApril 8, 2005 at 12:53 PM

    I'm not ordained yet, but I hope I come to the 20 year mark with as much grace, wisdom, compassion, long-suffering ... (the list goes on and on) ... as you have. I'm glad you're in PA.

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