I just miss my dad

I knew something was up when I was watching a bit of the news and my eyes began to fill over some story of injustice. I heard a song playing on the radio and more tears. Then I sat down to watch a bit of Coldplay and it's like waterworks as they close their concert with "Fix You."

I don't do this, at all, mostly ever. But these days I am. This week, for many reasons, I am a basket case.

It's ok you know? It's ok and it feels ok and there's a safe-ness in it all. But boy oh boy, what a difficult week.

Christmas seems to bring out the best and worst in people, and this week in my work, well, it's been a very very emotional week, shock and awe wise.

It was also my sisters birthday, she celebrated alone. Hillary is home and Johanna is not. And Christmas is nearly here and we haven't started with gifts yet.

And my dad isn't here.

Yuck.

Tomorrow is open house. You need to come by because Lauralea has done a ton of work for it. You need to come and I will smile and welcome you because I am honestly glad you could come over. Some may not come because they are hurting or angry.

It will be ok, trust me.

So let's end the day shall we? With a few nearly fitting words from Coldplay.
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try
to fix you

nite.

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