Thursday, January 11, 2007

100 things eh?

All this downtime is giving me the time I need to get on with the next session in my course work. So this afternoon I completed some more homework. Made an interesting discovery today.

I"m having a bit of difficulty with this whole "100 things you would like to do" extravagant opportunity.

I"m not having trouble with coming up with a hundred items, yet, but I am struggling with the sense of freedom within me to even hope, or dream in such ways. I am honestly surprised by this.

I think at some point in this exercise I put a few things together and began to realize that over the past few years I"ve been laying down some of my lifelong held dreams. Things I"ve held onto that I wanted to do at some point. I"ve realized that many of those things will never be achieved.

Feels strange and a bit lacking in integrity to be laying down dreams on one hand, and looking to make a new list on the other.

Somewhere along the line it"s caused me to start using the word No, more than the word Yes. And it"s making it hard to see the possibility of hope or dreams. Grief is mixed up in there too.

But I am re reading the class notes and realizing what is at work within me. I need to poke around this a little more.

2 comments:

  1. Interesting question: what are our hopes and dreams? What value do they have?

    I don't have the answers. I sometimes wonder, though, if our hopes and dreams draw our attention away from our final hope. Perhaps we should hope in God and then just see what happens next, where he takes us.

    Or maybe that's just defeatist.

    I don't know. Is it even possible to think outside of the Western cultural box?

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  2. I think that dreams for me are just that - dreams. Maybe they will be realized, maybe not, but dreaming them gives me a sense of direction and things to aim for if I get the chance. I think I have been blessed in actually realizing many of my dreams already so since I have seen dreams come true, I have hope for other dreams yet to be fulfilled.

    Hope seems to be another matter for me. My deepest hopes are not dreams and I have no idea if I will see them come to completion. Still I will hope since there are things going on in this universe that I have no idea about. My hope is always in God and what he will do. Hope, in this sense keeps me dependent on God and probably keeps me from being a pessimist.

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