All this downtime is giving me the time I need to get on with the next session in my course work. So this afternoon I completed some more homework. Made an interesting discovery today.
I"m having a bit of difficulty with this whole "100 things you would like to do" extravagant opportunity.
I"m not having trouble with coming up with a hundred items, yet, but I am struggling with the sense of freedom within me to even hope, or dream in such ways. I am honestly surprised by this.
I think at some point in this exercise I put a few things together and began to realize that over the past few years I"ve been laying down some of my lifelong held dreams. Things I"ve held onto that I wanted to do at some point. I"ve realized that many of those things will never be achieved.
Feels strange and a bit lacking in integrity to be laying down dreams on one hand, and looking to make a new list on the other.
Somewhere along the line it"s caused me to start using the word No, more than the word Yes. And it"s making it hard to see the possibility of hope or dreams. Grief is mixed up in there too.
But I am re reading the class notes and realizing what is at work within me. I need to poke around this a little more.