You gotta know that when I start every post with a reference to the weather that it is starting to effect the quality of my life here. And man this morning it was cold enough to freeze my giblets off.
So this is Wednesday, the day of my Recess Supervision over at PMS. The regular reader of randallfriesen.com will remember that this week is teacher appreciation week and so this morning I get to go appreciate the teachers.
Last night I asked my wife, who by the way, is the organizer of this endeavour, just what i should do out there. "Do I just pull up in the Velvet Fog and walk to the middle of the playground and begin to assert myself? And won't they think I'm just some dirty old man with my huge overcoat pulled up over my ears and call the cops?" I asked.
"Well, yes, basically," She replied, "But first check in with the office, tell them you're around, so you don't get arrested." kind of thing.
I am not really ready for this. I don't know what to do.
I mean, I've been the guy to tell the parent their child is dead. I've been the guy who tells a 10 year old that both his parents have been killed. I'm the guy who sits with the girl who found her dad dead from a suicide. Those things unfortunately, I've done. And though I hate doing them with a passion deep to my core, I know how to do it.
"I need training" I told her. "It's unfair that you don't train us how to do this task so that we don't emotionally disturb a child and scar them for the rest of their lives."
"Can I play a game with them?" I ask.
"Like snowball fight or king of the snow hill kinds of games?"
"No, you can't throw snowballs, it's against the rules."
"Really? When did that change, I didn't get that memo."
"Yes you did, it came in a parents newsletter."
"I don't read those."
"What should I do if they throw snowballs or don't listen to me?"
"Put them on the fence for a time out."
"What if I forget them there on the fence till after recess and it scars them for life and they grow up to be a serial killer or film critic or something? How will I live with myself? You guys should have a training program or something."
Then I asked her if she wanted to take my time slot, and she laughed at me. Really. Right there in our bedroom as I was getting into bed, she laughed.
Guess I'm going to school this morning.