Sunday, June 03, 2007
I just returned from the hospital.

A forty four year old dying of cancer, on their last day on earth.

And a patient from one of the prisons here in town who, if you can tell anything by the size of one's guards, has done something really bad.

And I leave thinking again how hugely unfair life is.

I get to live, probably (Hopefully) past my 44th year, and this person doesn't.And the inmate gets good hospital care, but what of the victims of his story?

Life isn't fair. You know it isn't because you spent years telling your kids that.

And it isn't.

But the hope I used to cling to was that there was some heavenly leveller out there in Glory, where all injustices would be addressed.

But I'm not too sure it's like that.

I mean, there are rewards and awards mentioned in scripture, yes I agree.

But what about these injustices?

Maybe there will just be comfort, and no more pain from the injustices we face here in this world.

Cause let's face it, if God ever got to giving us what we deserve, the last thing I would deserve is a better seat in heaven, or some cool toys or more stuff or more happiness.

I'd probably deserve something a lot less than I have right now even.

Because I would have been in a one on one race with Adam to try that fruit out.

Nope, life isn't fair, and it's not even fair that it isn't fair.

But heaven isn't fair either.

Because God doesn't treat us how we deserve. He treats us better.

And it's good. And worthy of hope.

And it's something to look forward to, and get ready for.
So, on this unfair Sunday afternoon, take a few moments to consider your future.

Let God lavish some love on you, unfairly give you more than you deserve.

And say "Yes" to his overwhelming, unfair love.

Life won't be more fair, but that's ok too, because then it simply won't matter as much. You will already have moved into His comfort.


  1. Randall, unfairness and fairness aside, how do you know at the deepest level of your being that He loves you? How can you trust Him to love you having had an alcoholic father that was physically abusive; a mother addicted to prescription drugs to deal with her husband's alcoholism that was emotionally abusive, cousins that were sexually abusive and an ex-wife that was unforgiving? I can remember like it was yesterday telling my ex-wife 24 years ago I needed to know He loved me and being on that journey for all these years. And I mean way beyond your health, where you live and what you have. How do you overcome yourself to let Him love you?

  2. Randall, your statement is well put and something I have come to understand recently. That as much as I would like justice if consequences were for others, how would I like what I deserve? It is that simple reflective statement that brought Matthew 5:7, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." to full light for me and has made me choose to be far more merciful in my daily life. It has taught me to not worry about why one has things better than another because I have it so much better than I deserve and reminds me again why I am thankful everything is in far more capable hands than mine or any man's.

  3. Dear David,

    How can you trust Him to love you?

    I guess I don't know how, for you I mean.

    The fact that you are still alive even after all that history gives me some hope that you have touched something of life in Him. That perhaps there have been moments in life when you've known or experienced something from Him that gives you hope that there is more there than nothingness.

    For me, my journey has been a journey to let God love me, or to be able to receive his love at all.

    It's been about asking God to find ways to help me know his love, and experience it.

    And for me, it's probably been more about being around people who love me, than anything else. I mean, I've learned how to trust God's love for me more through others who have loved me.

    And even having said that, last Sunday i was given a huge gift of love from the church, and I didn't know how to receive it. So I got stoic and quiet. Not a great way to express gratitude at being loved.

    "How do you overcome yourself to let Him love you?"

    Ask Him to love you past your defences.
    Get involved with good people who can care for you. Community, God with skin on kind of group.
    Talk with a counsellor or a spiritual director you feel good about, who can help you talk and work through some of the barriers to His love.

    And remember, so much of it comes by one small piece of the puzzle at a time. One piece of healing builds on another.

    Trust disappears with painful experiences. It also grows with good experiences.

    And it sounds like the depth of your experience has been great.

    I am praying for you tonight David. And I'm praying for you 2 Thessalonians 3:5

    "May the Lord lead your heart into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ."

    If you like, feel free to email me too, and we can chat a bit more personally, again, if you like.

    Hang in there guy. There is a God out there trying desperately to reach you with his love, as much as you are desperate to experience it.

  4. Hi David,
    I know that how God interacts with each of us is different but I thought I would share with you what helped me to get a firm grip on God's love for me. Last year I worked through a Beth Moore Bible study where we mapped out our lives on a time line, putting down each event that impacted us. Then we divided our lives into fifths and worked through each fifth. First we wrote a paragraph describing that period of our life including the emotional and spiritual climate in our home. Then we asked the question "How did God reveal Himself to you during that time?" I sat at my kitchen table and just wept because I saw that even though really horrible things were happening God was with me in the midst of it all. He never left me nor forsake me. He wanted me when others didn't. It was powerful and if you would like the rest of the questions you can e-mail me.

  5. David,
    It sounds to me as if you are wanting to experience God's love and that is a good beginning. As much as some of us are able, over a medium such as the internet, we are a small part of a larger community and we care for you in spite of knowing you hardly at all. As Randall suggests, you need people around you that can demonstrate love. You need someone you can trust to help walk you through this. That was essential for me. The internet is great and sometimes feels safer than live people but you need people around you that love God and will be God with skin on to you. And since God has tremendous power to bring these things about, trust him just a little at a time to show his care for you.
    Praying that you may know him: that from the depths of your being you will come to experience the delight he has in you and everything you are.

  6. Thanks to all of you for being His hands and arms and reaching out. It has helped.


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