Owning myself

randallfriesen.com reader Barb writes in her own blog:
I don’t know if it is a universal truth, but especially with church stuff, I always feel I have to be upbeat, pointing out the positive and offering hope and encouragement. This sometimes means that the tough stuff doesn’t get digested and some feelings get denied, which obviously isn’t healthy long term.

So I’m taking time this week to allow myself to feel frustration and maybe even anger. It’s a strange place to be, but it certainly doesn’t feel Godless. Maybe I need to buy a punchbag.

She gives language to my frustrations too.

In trying to come to terms with my frustration and anger, I wrongly consider that it's a waste of time and energy. Or even worse, I become fearful of it owning me and it starting to define me.

I don't want to be that angry, frustrated person.
As a result I end up fighting more than resting and owning my, for lack of a better word, feelings.

I think an appropriate prayer would be,

God help us.

7 comments:

  1. I hear you. I have had similar struggles. I'm praying for you folks too.

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  2. I absolutely know what you're saying. When do you allow yourself to embrace and be shaped and transformed by the circumstances and feelings you're experiencing and when do you move beyond them? It's all very murky waters, and not a fun place to be. But somehow we end up stronger. Somehow. Take care. You know we're still praying.

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  3. Hey ! In all the murkiness and mud there is encouragement to be found in knowing that others understand what it feels like to wade in the brown stuff.

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  4. There's a verse about righteous anger and heck Jesus got angry in the temple, that gives me comfort. I find I struggle with worry and over thinking things, alas, I struggle to put Matt. 6:34 into practice.

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  5. Well I can't give much advice about not giving into the anger and frustration as I often feel myself struggling with that very thing. However, my two cents, it's healthy to experience those things. I'm sort of skeptical of people that never have a bad day, never shed a tear, never show anger or frustration. Life isn't always puppies, rainbows and candy, sometimes it can be more difficult than what our imaginations can even drum up.

    I appreciate that you share these things with people that read your space, allowing us the priviledge to see the real you, and that Christianity isn't all about easy street, there are still some tough times and it makes the church seem more like a real thing with real people.

    My thoughts are with you and yours as you go through this time. The only advice I have is to be sure that all of you take time to do something that brings some joy into your life, wether that's going for a walk with a camera, doing pottery, singing, whatever it is, just to remember there are some things that are still okay in life. It's those little moments of peace that can make the other multitudes of unpeace, sadness, frustration and anger bearable.

    Thinking of you and your family.

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  6. Good idea Tara, and thanks all.

    I think tomorrow we'll get Lauralea out of the house a bit.
    Time for an outing.

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  7. Anger and frustration are not a waste of time and energy as long they are a season, part of a process and yours definetly is.

    I have somone in my life whose frustration and anger and "victim-speak" have become a consuming, familiar friend. So I think as long as you're keeping it balanced, it is healthy.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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