Today has been a day of trying to recuperate. To find our rest and let our spirits catch up with us. I, again, was surprised how much that is needed after a week or two like the past weeks have been.
And then a call comes. Somebody has died, suddenly. She was a friend and church connected individual, so I immediately feel surprise and pain of loss. Before I let myself step into my own process of grief, I become pastor Randall again and listen to their pain. I begin to make calls, and calls come in to me. Before I know it, I am working once again. Working on my only day off.
If you know me, you know that is not a complaint. Some days life, and death just happen. No, itâ€™s about me trying to take responsibility for my health and well being. I am relearning that rest is a needed part of my health.
But I am caught. People donâ€™t just have needs from Tuesday till Sunday, people die on Mondays too. So I need to work today. And tomorrow will have more to do. I feel caught with not many options for rest.
And Iâ€™m up late, trying to process the death a bit, trying to process some other information Iâ€™ve received and am struggling to deal with tonight. The exquisite pain of being a human sometimes overwhelms us, and we loose our way, giving in to the pain we endure, getting lost, and loosing ourselves.
I donâ€™t want that for myself, so I need to find ways to rest.
God did it one day a week. Jesus ran away to do it. So maybe I should be a bit more direct with it too.
Of course neither of those guys was a pastor.