How to get the adrenaline pumping again

After a long day at the office it's nice to come home, after dark, and find a warm greeting awaiting me from my wife.

Then to take off my coat, and get a cold drink of water and settle in for a bit.

I wandered into the toilet to take care of things and low and behold there on the back of the toilet is a pregnancy test stick. The test has been taken.

What do you do with that? I mean, really, is this some passive aggressive way of communication?

I sat there a while, wondering if I should look at it, and even if I looked, would I know what I was looking for?

I didn't even know which end to pick up, because the math in my head said that one of the ends was used to, you know, gather the data. I didn't want to touch the end that was used to gather data.

And why would she just leave it out here anyway. It would be just like her to tell me in this way that we were pregnant again. Just like her indeed.

I figured I should just get on with it because the joke was getting old, so I risked it, grabbing the lilac coloured end. I carefully lifted it to where I could see it without waving it about a lot.

There was a window with a line in it. Steady Friesen, this may mean nothing. How do I read it?

Oh, here is an instruction cartoon. If it looks like this picture, you are pregnant. If it looks like this picture, then you are not pregnant.

Trying to focus on the small images, which one, which one is like the one I see... Crap I'm too old to do this again, I can't even see small lettering any longer.

It looks like the second picture, I think it's the one where we are not pregnant, I think.

I better re-read the instruction pictures, just to be sure.

Nope, not pregnant, just menopause.

Sigh. Deep breath.

Relax.

 

Ever since we had the surprise Micah come to live with the family, we live on the edge. And the edge is a very fine line sometimes.

Comments

  1. Oh, you boys and the fear of touching pregnancy tests. There's a lid that goes over the part you pee on!

    And you can be pregnant and have a negative pregnancy test. Well, YOU couldn't... but you know what I mean.

    But you're probably right. It's probably the other thing. Just don't tell us here in PA, and you'll get that magic blanket you want. ;)

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  2. And the worst thing is that it ain't over til it's over. And since we haven't heard any fat ladies singing... but yeah. (shudder) I can certainly think of worse things that could happen... but knowing God's sense of humour... I'll just be very glad when it IS over.

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  3. Just think, after the adrenaline wears off, you'll sleep like a baby tonight... oh wait, babies don't sleep - I should know.

    That's funny (cuz it wasn't me), just when you thought the field would be boring.
    Okay, I'll stop. That made me laugh though.

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  4. Well to think that You've been up to a little bit more than "Moving in" over the past few weeks. hmmm... Nothing like a little reality to get your attention after a long day. A little Collaborative ministry going on in the manse???

    Tee Hee
    Jeremy

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  5. Hmmm, I suspect "Hooray L's menopausal" might not be the first phrase that trips off her or your tongues too often in the future.......

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  6. Dixie - I could tell you stories of pregnancy tests (remember what I do for a living) but that wouldn't excite you *that* much.

    Randall - I've been firing blanks for a long time now, but even so, we've had a couple of scares. We know the big M is coming, but it's some way off still. I have a lot of sympathy for all the mess, fuss and discomfort women have to suffer in order for us to breed, and even when all that's finished things still don't settle down.

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  7. So IF I would have had to make you a blankie, would you have been pulling for a pink one or a blue one? This would have been the tie breaker...

    Ah, it's probably best that I don't need to make you one; I'm a little busy these days. However, if it's the bit "M", the Mrs. will be throwing the blankets off all through the night; you just might need some kind of blankie of your own to keep yourself warm!

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  8. Next time you go to the big city, pick up a couple of the new ones that just say "Yes" or "No" when you pee on it. Would you from going into cardiac arrest. ;)

    Congratulations on being without child. ;)

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  9. I was worried, that it might be moms.

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