Better make some room, the relatives are coming to stay

"MOSCOW -- For a decade, Russian academic Igor Panarin has been predicting the U.S. will fall apart in 2010. For most of that time, he admits, few took his argument -- that an economic and moral collapse will trigger a civil war and the eventual breakup of the U.S. -- very seriously. Now he's found an eager audience: Russian state media."

read more.



So, we get the cold, quiet, simpler places from America.
No sea ports or sandy beaches. No orange or lemon trees. No Broadway or Wall Street or Beverly Hills.
Just people who say, "You Betcha" a lot.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. Or them. We'll just have to help them with their "Aboot's."

And we'll get lots of potatoes I see. Oh and the manufacturing and automotive industry, that's a keeper in this information age.

Colorado has the headquarters for Focus on the Family and a multitude of other para-church organizations. So a secularized Canada will have to step up a bit to help them feel welcomed.

Montana has what, a big sky? Got that already. And Wyoming has... horses? Just my stereotyping at work here in the Great White North.

Kansas will finally be appreciated, at least by Saskatchewanites. And there is good Chicago jazz to be listened to. Oh and pizza, good pizza.

We'll try to make room for you all, just don't be too pushy. We don't like that too much up here. But on the upside, you'll have free health care. You may notice a small raise in your taxes, but that will help with expenses. You can chip in a bit to help pay for the extra expenses, can't you?

 

It'll be ok, we'll work it out. We may have to have a little chat when you arrive, but we can make this work I'm sure of it.

Just take your shoes off when you come inside, ok? ok.

 

via Brad.

Comments

  1. At least the Gaithers are with us, and their recording studios, safely tucked in there in Indiana.

    And I'll still be able to watch the Detroit station (WDIV) of NBC that I grew up with -- you know the one that had Mort Crim & Carman Harlan. Or maybe you don't... I don't think anyone watched more tv than I did in the 80s and 90s.

    And I do LOVE potatoes.

    Oh, and we mustn't forget Oprah.

    So, there's nothing to complain about at all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I guess we'll have to figure out what to do when the neighbors have more kids than our whole family put together. And then there is the small detail about the behaviour of the neighbors kids - I mean they don't spell right, they talk funny and who knows what all they might do if we let them.

    But the potatoes might be a good thing - and the jazz.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A Russian saying the United States will fall apart is laughable. The Russians have been in shambles for at least a decade or so.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mr. CC - you are but young. An individual being able to understand what people do does not reflect on a nation (or vice versa).

    To me, the biggest problem would be what a liberal secular Canada would do to welcome all those redneck evangelicals - the immoral majority. Warfare seems more likely than welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You betcha. We'll learn to take our shoes off. But the potatoes are from Idaho, so we might have to import them, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ah see I am trying to make you all feel at home by showing that I have the geographical knowledge of an American High Schooler!!

    Sorry Beth, you betcha you were right. I was wrong.

    :)
    We'll have to import our potatoes from China.

    ReplyDelete
  7. All four of my grandparents came to Saskatchewan from Norway via the midwestern US, and I spent a school year in Minnesota, so I think it's a good fit. All those Idaho potatoes will make great lefse and klub. They will need some re-educating about proper British spelling and the value of universal medical care, but I welcome my midwestern American friends to Canada.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My mom is so completely freaked out abooot universal medical care. We told her it wasn't that bad. Dave got his appendix out in a jiffy and it only cost us $20 in parking fees. Our GP and his surgeon even checked in with him on a daily basis. And he got to share a room with three women, one of whom was the mayor. Can it get any better?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well if I had known this little nugget of information Johanna and I should just have waited a couple years and then I could have just immigrated with the rest of the Midwest.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment





I'm moderating all the comments these days.
Thanks.