For the first time since we moved to The Field, there is not some external force giving us our agenda. You know, like unpacking or Christmas or those kinds of things.Â
So the first thing Lauralea and I do with the New Lull, on Monday, our day off of course, is have a knock down, drag out, miscommunication/talk/cry misunderstanding, crappy day.
It was good to clear the air, at least it seemed good to me, and I think she was better after it too, but I ought not to speak for herself, but dang if that isn't a no fun way to spend the first day off after Christmas, after the kids have gone and the house is empty, after all the stress of the past months...
Being human sometimes. And failing again and again, and yet, again.
As I've told my kids over and over, there are things I can learn here and now that I could never learn anywhere else, under any other circumstances.
So, I might as well learn.
The opportunity to go deep is at hand, and I try to choose it.Â
Deep enough to face what is within.
Deep enough to trust the other with my spirit.
Deep enough to find water, that will nourish my soul once again.
Going deep is required, if one is going to grow. Looking inside one's self and having an inner life is needed if one will experience all that God has for me.
And so I try to be obedient to the one who drills deep into my soul with bits that cause pain.Â
That's a deep subject.
Enough blabbering on.
We'll start again tomorrow.