Tuesday, January 06, 2009

The rush just slides down into a lull

For the first time since we moved to The Field, there is not some external force giving us our agenda. You know, like unpacking or Christmas or those kinds of things. 

So the first thing Lauralea and I do with the New Lull, on Monday, our day off of course, is have a knock down, drag out, miscommunication/talk/cry misunderstanding, crappy day.

It was good to clear the air, at least it seemed good to me, and I think she was better after it too, but I ought not to speak for herself, but dang if that isn't a no fun way to spend the first day off after Christmas, after the kids have gone and the house is empty, after all the stress of the past months...

It.

Is.

So.

Hard.

Being human sometimes. And failing again and again, and yet, again.

 

As I've told my kids over and over, there are things I can learn here and now that I could never learn anywhere else, under any other circumstances.

So, I might as well learn.

 
The opportunity to go deep is at hand, and I try to choose it. 
Deep enough to face what is within.
Deep enough to trust the other with my spirit.
Deep enough to find water, that will nourish my soul once again.
 

Going deep is required, if one is going to grow. Looking inside one's self and having an inner life is needed if one will experience all that God has for me.

And so I try to be obedient to the one who drills deep into my soul with bits that cause pain. 

Well?
That's a deep subject.

I hope.



Enough blabbering on.
Good night.
We'll start again tomorrow.

8 comments:

  1. "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me"
    "I am human, You are God. I am human, You are God. I am human, You are God."

    If you are going to speak like Nouwen, maybe you should spend some time praying like Nouwen.

    Blessings
    Jeremy

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you've had a chance to read Kita's blog before this comment then you'll see why this post seems so appropriate. It's reassuring to know that older (as in longer together) couples still have to clear the air and that life isn't like the movies.

    Thanks Randall

    ReplyDelete
  3. FWIW I suspect Jesus like Randall just praying as Randall.

    Dan, you'll find one difference between those with successful marriages and those not is how they deal with their arguments, rather than whether or not they have them. From observation.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, there's nothing like a good fight to clear the air. It is humbling to have to admit stupidity or insensitivity to your life partner - who already knows how stupid and insensitive you are. They may just have told you, eh?

    Repenting to each other is good practice. It raises the humility levels and at the end if you fall into the circle of each others arms and proceed to heal and move on, a bit more secure in each other - that is good and redemptive and healing.





    I put in some extra practice over the holidays myself. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ah, love the Nouwen.
    And I'm prayin.
    Course, The Nouwen wasn't married....

    :)

    Hey Dan, when are you and Kita getting married? As in what day is it on?
    We've been praying for you guys about that.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I would forget about the Nouwen and think more about the Randy, that is , if it were me. However, talking about knockdown fights after Christmas, that's us. I just hate it, when that happens. Elvin is home this year for the winter, soooo ---- We are so different and I suspect you and your wife also.. Chin up, there is a better time coming, eh? lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. The date is set for the 12th September this year :)

    Thanks for all the prayer as well

    ReplyDelete
  8. I can totally relate. I react rather than respond. I yell rather than speak rationally.
    Although it's not the best way to spend your day off, I guess it's better than to have to go to work after. :)
    The week can only get better. Have a good one.

    ReplyDelete



Play nice - I will delete anything I don't want associated with this blog and I will delete anonymous comments.