Tough trip home.
I've done a lot of driving over the years and in the past have thought nothing of getting in the car and driving till I got to my destination. Even when that meant driving 24 hours at a time, or when we would drive from northern Alberta to southern Ontario for Christmas and we would drive for 60 hours continuously. It didn't seem that big a deal, when I was younger.
Many miles have been covered and there have been some incredible close calls through all those miles. That alone could convinced me that someone bigger than me has been watching out for me.
Tonight again, a couple of too close for comfort close calls.
The sudden realization that external events are beyond your control, a gut uttered three word prayer for help escapes your lips, you turn the wheel hard, as best you can to clear the obstruction, and you wait as time slows to a crawl to see if your helpless action and prayer was enough.
Tonight it was enough. But I feel like I'm getting too old for this kind of stuff.
It's those kinds of things that take the wind out of your sails, or at least they do mine. I don't feel like I cheated death yet once again and I don't feel like my great driving skills saved the day once again. I know better than that.
I've been to too many accident scenes, been called to too many hospital rooms, told too many people their loved one has died, and lost too many of my own friends to auto accidents, to think it couldn't happen to me. Because it could.
I don't spend a great deal of time thinking about that because it doesn't help. But these events take my breath away, they get me in the gut. I am keenly aware of the thin line that exists being here and not being here and I know that we all live closer to that line than we may realize. Maybe it's not bad to occasionally remember that.
It is a comfort in a strange sort of way, to know that when I suddenly find myself in those difficult life and death moments when time slows down, that my gut response is a prayer. Not a curse, but a prayer. Whenever it is my time to go, I can't think of a better thing to be doing, than praying.