I had difficulty falling asleep last night, which is unusual for me.
Usually I read untill I pass out into the unconscious world of rest. But last night it was as if I knew what lay ahead of me in that dark world. It seemed like half the night I lay awake and the other half I spent dreaming that Lauralea was pregnant.
A more bitter sweet dream one could not have I think.
Our ages, starting over, a kid graduating when we are in our late 60's. The long sleepless nights, the overwhelmingness of it all, the diapers and crib and highchair and feeding and, and,
A new life, a child's laughter, helping them with life changing discoveries like the sourness of a pickle or the beauty of a lilac crayon or how to say the word LIKE. Knock knock jokes and potty humor and even "I want to put my socks on myself'" self determination.
But mostly it was terror, with scattered smiles and hopefilled moments of joy.
I did wake up, mostly glad that it was a dream.