Losing my evenings

Tonight I am exhausted.

I've been trying to be present at the Wednesday evening preteen and Youth activities to try and provide some continuity and connection for the twenty or so youth and the 14 or so pre-teens who come out.

Today that was after a long day that included a lunch hour of cleaning the outside of the house windows which I've been trying to get done before the weather turns. Today it was a beautiful day for it.

Last night was our board meeting, tonight youth, and tomorrow the ladies are to be at a chocolate night. So the week has filled up the evenings nicely.

And so I'm tired.

Probably still a touch of the travel jetlagitus too, but it's not nearly as bad as it was going that direction.

So we're back and the needs here are great. I suppose the stress for me and for those I've been counselling these past few days is that often the people with the deep needs don't even get that they have deep needs that need attention. Instead they just go blindly on and with each turn and twist of life they unknowingly break something, or someone. Amazingly amazingly unaware and unknowing of the hurt they have caused, or at least I hope they are unaware. Otherwise they are being deliberate with the pain they cause, and that's a whole different kind of blindness.

So there is much work to be done here, but it can only be done at a pace people are willing to be challenged with. It's often a hurry up and wait thing, and while we wait, we bind up the hurting and the broken. And we chase church mice around the office, and we feed teens supper and we wash windows.

And tonight we sleep.