Sunday morning and I'm at the office earlier than usual. It was a combination of couldn't sleep any more and just a tad terrified by the prospect of the coming weeks. I lay there looking at the days ahead and I wanted to crawl into a corner and hide.
I know that for most people this time of year does this to them, or something similar. And so I am not so different from the norm. I do, however, feel the internal pressure of encouraging people to live in a place of abundance and peace, this season especially, and outwardly not being a good example of that at all.
As well, for a person who finds his resources replenished by quiet alone time, this season will test all that I am, and have. That too is why I am here early, searching for the aloneness.
It's looking like except for one night, all the evenings before Christmas are now filled up with work things. Then there are the other things that are needing attention. A son and his meeting with a surgeon, first of many I understand. We've been waiting in line for months for this and it comes this week. Though he could go himself, somebody with very deep pockets will need to be there, and since I can fake that, I should be there. Hillary is in the midst of packing and moving out for what she figures is the last time. Again she is moving far away. Not like England far away, but far enough that we won't see her much at all.
Micah starts a new full time job tomorrow morning and all that that entails. We are expecting house guests in a week or two who need a place to stay while they participate in a wedding out here. Then there is the wedding I am doing after christmas and much of that work needs to be done before Christmas day. Fit into that the annual reports, budget meetings, nomination meetings, dentist appointments, church annual meeting, the week of prayer, the trip to book for midwinter meetings in the States, my performance review, installation service for new guy, and oh yeah it's christmas.
I find it utterly embarrassing to put that all into print. I mean it helps me to understand my present angst, but jeepers if I'm the one who is suppose to be a good example of how to live life, then wow I'm failing at that too.
Yes, some people can better appreciate that there are others out there like me who may be able to understand their difficult busy lives. But I'm the one who talks of balance and a quality interior life. It will take some serious work to walk this all out well. For me and for you.
So let us continue to simplify life.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Now I gotta go, Sunday is calling.