Be Present

Thursday, March 26, 2015
hebrews 2:1

It's true.
Following after someone requires intentionality.
Listening needs presence.

"Pay attention" the mother in the shop says to her seven year old.
See what is happening here. Watch what I am doing so you can know how to do it yourself.
Paying the most careful attention will help you to not miss the details.

Drifting is fine for a hot summers day when you are on a raft floating down the North Saskatchewan river.
It's not fine for a relationship. Just ask any emotionally abandoned lover.
Drifting isn't enough for those big things in life.

To not lose our way, we must listen, be present, pay attention.

Are you paying attention to today?
Are you listening?
Are you present to the things you hear?

"We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away."  Hebrews 2:1


I feel old...

Friday, March 13, 2015
Old as in I had a morning meeting at the University of Alberta yesterday morning, and as I entered the Student Union Building I caught the energy of the place and I liked loved it.

Kids talking, working, sleeping on a bench. Listening to music or playing a guitar. Eating a bagel or drinking black coffee. Buying supplies, studying together, comparing notes from last night. The energy in the place was just, well, animated. Well, except for the guy passed out on the bench with his  backpack for a pillow.

And I thought, just for a brief moment, how I'd like to go back and do more study. More research more learning and certainly engage in more ah ha moments of discovery.

And then I needed to go to the washroom, and I saw myself in a mirror.
I felt so instantly old.

Just now, when I have the self confidence. When I'm ok with myself and have figured out a couple of life's big questions. When the formal education wouldn't be lost on me. I suddenly get old.

That's the story of my life. Arriving late to the parties, mostly because I'm a slow learner.

So maybe it's just as well I don't go back to school.
I'm still a slow learner.


An Inner Life

Tuesday, March 10, 2015
“Love is a mighty power, a great and complete good; Love alone lightens every burden, and makes the rough places smooth. It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders all bitterness sweet and acceptable. The love of Jesus is noble, and inspires us to great deeds; it moves us always to desire perfection. Love aspires to high things, and is held back by nothing base. Love longs to be free, a stranger to every worldly desire, lest its inner vision become dimmed, and lest worldly self-interest hinder it or ill-fortune cast it down. Nothing is sweeter than love, nothing stronger, nothing higher, nothing wider, nothing more pleasant, nothing fuller or better in heaven or earth; for love is born of God, and can rest only in God above all created things.

Love flies, runs, leaps for joy; it is free and unrestrained. Love gives all for all, resting in One who is highest above all things, from whom every good flows and proceeds. Love does not regard the gifts, but turns to the Giver of all good gifts. Love knows no limits, but ardently transcends all bounds. Love feels no burden, takes no account of toil, attempts things beyond its strength; love sees nothing as impossible, for it feels able to achieve all things. Love therefore does great things; it is strange and effective; while he who lacks love faints and fails.”

― Thomas à Kempis, The Inner Life


Saturday, March 07, 2015
Emerging from a very tough week. I wonder what I'm doing with it all.
Fighting so hard the feeling of heaviness I guess it is.
My dreams are dark. I want to crawl into a closet where no one can find me, and close the door.
Trying to keep up, keep on.

The work is challenging, and I am doing my best to keep up.
It's doable, but there is so much of it.
Feels like I'm barely holding on sometimes.

It's a season. That's all it is.
A season of struggle. And seasons come and go.

Though I am not without hope.
This season has its brightly lit moments too.
A few moments Skype with my granddaughters.
Great staff to work with.
A quiet place to live.
A bride who strokes my arm when the darkness of a sleepless night presses in.
Each one a very real gift of love to me this week.

I want to say this has been an amazingly tough week.
But it hasn't killed me, or made me withdraw.
It hasn't made my faith fail, or pushed me further from God.

Even in the darkness of this week, light has pierced through and lit up the dark.
And I am still here.
And this world is better today, because I have been in it.
And deep at the core of who I am,
that's a really good thing.

Maybe next week the seasons change.


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