Well, one month into this thing, with our retreat to the Isle of Iona over (But still reverberating all over my heart...) and the education component nearly over (Only one paper to write by Aug 20...) I'd have to say we are in better shape than we have been for a while.
It really hit home for me yesterday.
Yesterday morning I received three fairly urgent calls from three situations that, because of their stories, require my attention. It yanked me out of this mode quicker than if somebody had thrown a grenade into the room.
I had planed to go out with Lauralea to process some of the "Stuff" that had happened last week, and we did try to go out for coffee and go through things. But after those calls, I really "Left the building."
I was trying to hold those needs, simply processing what I needed to do with them, and I was completely not present with Lauralea and the kids.
I was actually surprised at how "Not present" I was. Really. Not there for them at all. These three stories were front and centre for me and my head space for most of the day.
Today I'm a bit better, I think, but yesterday shocked me. I need to find ways to carry these situations before God while not being absent to my family. That's just tough. But it is something I need to be able to do this autumn, or else all the good this break has given us will evaporate.
Besides, it's fun being present with Lauralea and my family. It's fun and enjoyable and good, and that is the journey I need to make with three weeks left.
Some of you are pastors, and some of you have walked this road already. If you have any keen insights why not shoot me an email and tell me your stories.
I'm teachable.
:)
I so get you about other people's needs overriding everything else. No easy answers, but just the assurance that it is an issue whether or not you have family at home.
ReplyDeleteThere's something in the mix about how it's OK to switch off because God never does. We need to find ways to let go and let God.....but it's easier to talk the talk than walk the walk.
Being teachable is a great sign of hope though...
Yours in solidarity. R
Hey, thanks Rachel,
ReplyDeleteThat's comforting in the whole "I'm not the only crazy one around here" theme.
I am somewhat hopeful that even the realization that I do that might help me along the path of recovery.
Which i suppose was one reason I wanted to speak it out loud here.
Dear Randall,
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your sabbatical. How much longer do you have off.
K
I am really enjoying it. I have about three weeks left I think...
ReplyDeleteIt's going quickly though.
:)